Knock Me Down, Build Me Up
by musicandme37
Summary: When an accident has several of the Hollyoaks residents in danger, Ste and Brendan are reunited in the most unlikely of situations.
1. Chapter 1

Aaaaaand I'm back with another Stendan fic. I just can't help myself...I'm obsessed XD

This fic is actually based off a dream I had. It was a very excellent Stendany dream :P

The fic is set in late December 2012, and although I hope Stendan reunite way before then (I honestly can't wait that long!) I have set it then to make it work with the story.

I hope you guys enjoy the first chapter! Thanks for reading! Let me know if you want more! :D

Disclaimer: I do not own Hollyoaks. Sadly :(

* * *

29th December 2012

They weren't sure whether it was due to the stressful last couple of years of serial killers and deaths and guilt and lies and drama, but for one reason or another, the week between Christmas and New Year had turned into a whole week of celebration in the village of Hollyoaks.

There were some grand events planned among various groups of the villagers for every night of the week, in various locations in and around the village. For Britain, 2012 had been a year to remember – The Queen's Diamond Jubilee, the Olympic Games in London – but inside the village itself, maybe 2012 was a year they were ready to move on from. Maybe 2013 would be a fresh start for everybody.

Chez Chez, however, was not one of the venues for the celebrations. After Sampson trashed the place all the way back in June and Lynsey being murdered on the same day, Cheryl, Brendan and Joel had had both little time and little will to really restore it to its former glory. They hadn't really stayed around in the village long enough to do anything – coming and going for short periods at a time. But when Brendan, Cheryl, Joel and Theresa had returned from a trip away in September, they had finally decided to sort the club. It was still being refurbished, which was why the Hollyoaks residents had had to organise Christmas and New Year's parties for themselves.

Tonight's event was probably the most talked about of the New Year's celebrations. It had been organised by the Savages, and Dirk had sweet-talked one of his contacts into loaning them out an old warehouse for cheap. The warehouse was only a few miles out of the village, and everyone was excited for it, particularly after the successes of the Enchanted Forest party that the Savages had put on during the summer. It was still two days until New Year's Eve, but the Savages had chosen the 29th because it was a Saturday night, which they hoped would draw in a big turnout.

x-H.O-x

The amount of people who had turned up for the Savage party was more than Ste had expected, and judging by the delighted looks on the Savages' faces, it was more than they had been expecting too. Ste was guiding Amy through the crowd, Amy on the lookout for Ally over the heads of people.

Ste had to admit, the Savages had done a good job. The old warehouse was already atmospheric, and the two-storey building had been lit with make-shift lighting rigs, as the building's own electrics were long dead. The lights cast shadows in corners and would have been eerie had there not been so many people. There were DJ booths and make-shift bars on both floors. The building itself was surrounded by fields, on a very small redundant industrial estate on a long country road out of town. It was a large building with open spaces and stairs up to the second floor along one wall. There were two doors on the first floor, a large one at the front, and one round the side that was being used by smokers.

Amy had persuaded Ste to come, even though Ste had told her he would have been more than happy having a night in with the kids. Amy had insisted that Ste come, because they wouldn't be going out on New Year's Eve itself, and that Ste needed to re-bond with Ally because of their hostilities towards each other over the past few months. So, as Ste couldn't really be bothered to argue with her, Mike had agreed to take the kids, and Ste had agreed to go.

"Glad you came?" Amy called over the loud music. Even standing next to her it was hard to hear what she was saying.

"We've only just got here." Ste said.

"Come on Ste! You haven't been out in ages! Enjoy yourself for once!"

Ste rolled his eyes and nodded. "Alright, alright!"

A few metres further into the crowd, and they heard someone shouting his name.

"Ste! Hey Ste!"

Ste spotted Doug and gave him a friendly wave, taking hold of Amy's wrist and pulling her in the direction of the bar.

"Hey." Ste said as they reached him.

Doug gave them a shy smile.

Ste and Doug had dated up until mid-August before things had started to go wrong. It became obvious that they weren't working out and that they weren't a good match. They argued a lot, and their relationship was based more on falling out and making up than anything particularly steady. For the sake of their business Ste called it off, and since then their friendship had been slowly recovering. Ste had remained single for the four-and-a-half months since they'd broken up. He'd been too busy focusing on their business and his kids. But he'd been pleased to discover a week before that Doug had been meeting up with a guy he'd met whilst on a night out with Texas and Leanne in Liverpool.

"How was your date with Jake yesterday?" He asked.

Doug smiled and shrugged awkwardly. "Well, you know…good. Good I guess."

Ste grinned back. "Good."

Dennis suddenly popped up from behind Doug. "Ste! Amy! The party is great isn't it?"

"We've only just got here." Amy said, "But it looks amazing in here."

Dennis nodded enthusiastically. "The Savages pulled it off again!"

"You'll be making a bit of money tonight." Ste commented.

The Savages were asking for a small entry fee, in the hopes of maybe finally being able to afford their own house, or keep up with Jack's rent on the house-boat.

"Yeah we are." Dennis said. "We hadn't planned on this many people, and we are making a profit with just drink sales alone. With the entry fee on the door, we'll be rolling in it."

"Then maybe Dirk will be able to get out of my dad's hair once and for all." Darren said from behind the bar, passing a drink to Leanne.

"They've got you working?" Ste asked him.

"Yeah, for a price." Darren said. "The Mrs didn't want me to work tonight but Dodge is very persuasive. Me and Rhys offered to help run the bars." He looked down the bar to where someone was beckoning him. "Sorry, 'scuse me." He apologised and moved away.

"Are you guys staying the night?" Leanne asked Amy and Ste enthusiastically when Darren had gone.

"No we aren't." Amy replied.

Ste had heard that a lot of people planned to camp in the fields around the warehouse rather than head home that night. The warehouse was more than a half-hour walk from the village, though it took much less time in the car, but understandably, people were planning on being too drunk for both those options.

"That's a shame. Loads of us are." Doug said. "There's us three and Tex, and the Savages are all staying. A load of the students are…"

"Nah sorry, we have to head home about One." Ste apologised. "We have to be up to collect the kids early."

"Oh ok." Doug looked a little disappointed, but understanding.

"Have you seen Ally?" Amy asked Dennis, Doug and Leanne, "Or Michaela?"

Ally had returned from a training stint with the army earlier that evening and had promised Amy that he would make an appearance as soon as he was ready.

Michaela was definitely around somewhere, because the McQueens were out in force to celebrate Myra finally being released after her six months in prison.

"I think they are at the bar upstairs." Leanne said. "Because Rhys is on the bar up there."

Ah, probably trying to sweet-talk him into giving them cheaper drinks. "Thanks!" Amy said, before turning to Ste, "Can we go up there to find Michaela?"

"Yeah, sure." Ste shrugged, waving goodbye to Doug, Dennis and Leanne. "See you guys later."

"Remember to come downstairs at eleven!" Dennis shouted after them. "There's going to be a firework display in the field outside!"

"We'll be there!" Ste called back over his shoulder.

They passed Dodger and Texas snogging on the stairs and made their way up to the second floor. It was quieter up there, but only just.

"Amy!" Michaela's voice instantly shrieked over the crowd. "Amy, over here!"

Amy rushed over to the gang of McQueens and Ste followed in order to see Myra, but suddenly he spotted Theresa standing a little away from the group with Joel and Cheryl and found himself changing his course of direction.

"Hi." He smiled at them when he reached them.

It had taken a long time for Cheryl to recuperate after Lynsey's death, but over the past month she had started being a bit more like her old self – meeting up with the other girls for the 'book club' and going out more, plus taking on more responsibilities in organising the renovation of the club.

She smiled fondly at him. She'd been incredibly grateful to him after all he had done for her in the weeks immediately following Lynsey's death, and he had become a confidant to her over the months following, whenever she had needed to talk to someone. "Ste! I didn't know you were going to be here!" She said.

"I hadn't planned to. It was a last minute thing. Amy demanded I come with her. I didn't know you guys were coming either?"

"Well Joel is DJ-ing a set or two and was coming with Theresa anyway, so I thought I'd tag along."

"Oh right, cool." He looked to Joel and nodded, "Good luck with the DJ sets."

Joel nodded back. "Thanks."

He and Joel still didn't really talk unless they were in a situation where they had to. This was despite Cheryl insisting that he and Joel would get on well if they tried – they had similar backgrounds apparently, and were more alike than they realised. Ste always told her that at least he and Joel were civil to each other now, which was a step up from where they'd been at the start of the year.

Ste smiled a greeting at Theresa – they had always gotten on well – and then looked around them. "Is Brendan here?"

He and Brendan had reached some kind of equal truce at long last. After Lynsey's death, Brendan had been broken and different. Ste had seen how vulnerable he was – sometimes the Irishman could barely mask it – and Ste had offered him help. Brendan had actually accepted it, and thanked Ste when Ste had managed to convince Cheryl that it was best for her to go home to Ireland for a little while. Since the Bradys had returned from Ireland, they'd been back and forth from the village and away again – no-one was really sure where exactly they had all gone, particularly in September. And no-one really knew where Brendan's friend Walker had disappeared to either, over that time. Ste didn't know whether he'd pop up again soon, but Ste hoped not. Walker had been more than a little unnerving.

Ste had no idea what had happened to Brendan during his time away in September but on his return he seemed to have changed even more. Now, 'changed' didn't mean that Brendan had turned into some wimpy saint. Quite the contrary. On the business side of things he was more determined than ever. To people that threatened or annoyed him, he was just as dangerous and intimidating as he'd ever been. The change was in his attitude towards the people he trusted. He was more open with Cheryl, and more trusting and close with Joel. He and Theresa got on well and he and Mitzeee were growing closer again. As for Brendan and Ste, well they would have the odd conversation now and again, and there was not an ounce of game-playing from either of them. But to be truthful, these conversations didn't happen often, and Brendan was making no moves to try and be a part of Ste's life again. He was still Ste and Amy's landlord but he had kept rents the same and only appeared rarely to collect rent and check-up on his property. There had been talks of him selling it on as well, or that was the rumours Ste had heard. It was like Brendan had finally moved on.

But this change in Brendan had been so great, and their chance meetings now-and-again over the last few months had been so natural and so…well…_nice, _that Ste couldn't help but feel disappointed that Brendan had moved on.

He also tried not to look too disappointed when Cheryl informed him Brendan wasn't at the party.

"He decided to give it a miss." She said.

"Well, he said he might come for a little bit, later on, just to see one of my DJ sets." Joel corrected. "But he might not have time."

They all knew, from Brendan, that that spiel most probably meant 'no', he wouldn't be turning up. But with his slightly changed ways, there was always a chance he would surprise them.

"Oh right, ok." Ste said. "I was just wondering, seen as though all of you were here."

Joel nodded, "Uh-huh, sure."

Theresa elbowed him. "Joel!"

Ste just rolled his eyes playfully and looked at the girls "You girls look lovely tonight."

Cheryl and Theresa lit up with the praise. "Thanks Ste." Theresa grinned. "Have you been to see Myra yet?"

"No." Ste admitted. "I was heading over there before I saw you guys."

"Come on then!" Theresa said to him, turning to Joel to press a kiss to his lips and to tell him she'd be back soon, and then grabbed Ste's hand and tugged him towards the McQueens and Amy.

x-H.O-x

Brendan looked down at his phone when he received a text.

_Joel: R U GUNA MAKE IT 2NITE 2 C ME DJ? _

Brendan sighed and drank some more of his whisky, putting the phone down beside him.

He'd half-wanted a night to himself. He'd spent so much time of the last few months worrying about everyone else and not letting them out of his sight, that he kind of missed being on his own.

He was sitting in the club, which was still in mid-renovation. The work had been put on hold over the Christmas and New Year break. He liked spending time in the half-finished club; he liked the smell of the wood, of the fresh paint - paint that was in colours that had been Lynsey's favourites. It had been Joel's idea, but Brendan had agreed immediately – it was their small tribute to Lynsey. Hopefully that knowledge of her being there in some form would bring them luck for the next year. God knew he needed some.

He finished his whisky and was about to pour another glass, when he paused, fingers drumming ceaselessly on the empty glass, the hollow chinking noise filling the silent room. He tilted his head, eyes switching between the glass, the bottle of whisky, and his phone. He let out a long breath, and finally he reached for his phone.

Being alone may have been a blessing in some respects, but without distraction Brendan was only left with his own mind for company - helpfully providing him with the memories of the terrible things he had done, of the darkness he had let himself become over the past few years. And maybe being alone was just as much a curse.

Brendan had always been temperamental and relatively spontaneous. And suddenly the club, with its hanging building-site dust and deathly quiet was almost stifling. He had to get out of there.

Besides, he had said to Joel that he would make an effort to make an appearance.  
So he replied to Joel's text:

_Brendan: I'LL SHOW. SEE YOU IN A BIT._

x-H.O-x

At about quarter to eleven, word spread quickly that the fireworks were about to begin and people began to spill out of the building and into the field outside.

The upstairs began to empty out quickly. The music was winding down for a bit. Joel had done a couple of sets on the decks and was due to do another when everyone came back in.

Soon all the people who were upstairs were Joel and Theresa over by the DJ booth, Rhys at the bar and Cheryl chatting to Michaela and Amy, whilst the rest of the McQueens had started heading downstairs. The rest of the people up there Ste didn't really recognise.

It was quieter now with less people milling around, and the music was quieter.

Ste was about to walk over to Amy, Michaela and Cheryl when a noise made him stop in his tracks. It sounded like a creak followed by a huge groan. He eyed the room suspiciously and started when he heard the noise again. He looked around. For the first time that night, he properly focused on the building itself. It was definitely the old warehouse that was making the noises. It made him wonder how stable the building really was. Was it able to hold the unexpected amount of people who had turned up at the party? Now that there was less of a distraction, and far less commotion and racket, he could hear the floor groan sickeningly under each step he took towards the girls.

It was slightly windy that night. As he had overheard Dirk commenting – the wind was enough to keep the sky clear of still clouds, and yet not so windy as to have the firework display cancelled. Even though the wind wasn't too bad, the warehouse felt and sounded like it was in some kind of gale.

Everyone else upstairs were too busy chatting to each other or shouting or singing, and hadn't noticed what Ste was worrying about.

When he reached Amy, Cheryl and Michaela he smiled at them, trying to mask his concern. "Hey, aren't we going down to watch the fireworks?"

The fireworks were outside, away from the building. Good. The building was making him very nervous.

"Yeah, I was just waiting for Ally." Amy said.

"Well, if Ally arrives, he'll be able to find you outside, right? Why don't you just text him?"

"I don't have great signal, there's one bar if I find the right place up here, but outside I probably won't get any."

"Well why don't we stand near the road so you can see who arrives?"

Amy nodded. "Ok."

"Are you guys coming?" He asked Cheryl and Michaela.

They both agreed and Ste sighed in relief. "Well you guys head down and I'll catch you up."

Amy looked at him in confusion. "Aren't you coming out?"

"Course I am." Ste said. He just had to try and convince people out of the building first. Because he was listening for the creaks and groans, he could hear them getting worse and more frequent. "I was just going to have a chat with Rhys."

Amy nodded. "Ok, see you outside, near the road, yeah?"

"Yep." Ste nodded. "Oh, and if you see Doug and the others down there, can you invite them to stand with us?"

Amy nodded and she led the other two downstairs.

Ste looked around quickly at everyone else still upstairs. He took a calming breath and headed towards Rhys, Joel and Theresa.

x-H.O-x

"Carmel!"

Carmel turned around to see Ally approaching her and the McQueens, who were gathered outside ready to watch the fireworks. "Ally!" She smiled. "Hi! I didn't know you were coming."

"I literally just got back from my fortnight of training." He grinned. "I thought I'd meet Amy to celebrate."

Carmel couldn't help her smile dropping just a little. She had really started to like Ally; he had been her rock since her accident.

"Are you looking for her?" Carmel asked. "I'm sorry, I haven't seen her."

"No I came over to say hi." He insisted. "It's great to see you out."

She smiled again, "Thanks Ally."

They stood together for a moment or two, until Ally spotted Amy over Carmel's head. "Excuse me will you?" He asked, "It was great to see you."

"You too." She said, and then he left her to catch up to Amy.

The crowd outside to watch the fireworks was huge and she knew there were still people inside enjoying drinks and music.

Dirk got up on a box and made an amusing little speech. And then the fireworks began.

Carmel couldn't help but laugh as her family dramatized the 'ooohs' and 'aaaahs' behind her for the first few fireworks.

The bangs came quicker and louder as more fireworks were set off.

And then there came the loudest bang of all.

And it wasn't a firework.

Like everyone else, Carmel turned and watched with horror as the warehouse banged, crashed, and started to collapse.

There were screams and shouts and Carmel was reminded with a sickening feeling of the night years ago now, where the McQueens were tied in a church as it exploded and collapsed around them. The night that Tina died. The night Niall disappeared.

She closed her eyes but still everyone kept screaming. People rushed around her.

By the time she had opened her eyes the damage had been done. The building had partly collapsed and as Liberty proceeded to cry out to the world "The doors are blocked! There's no way in!"

And then the commotion started.

Jacqui was screeching for Rhys.

Carmel felt her heart quicken with fear when she realised Theresa and Joel were not standing with them. Her family started shrieking and shouting when they realised that too.

She saw Amy Barnes run towards the still-unstable building, screaming. Ally caught her round the waist and easily held her back, but still her screams of "Ste's in there!" rose above everyone else's panic.

She saw people fishing for their phones to call ambulances, police, fire brigade…anything.

To Carmel, it all seemed to happen so slowly, and yet it had actually all happened so quickly that the last firework was still lighting the sky above their heads.

* * *

So that's all for the first chapter. I will try and update asap :)  
I hope you enjoyed - because there's nothing better to reunite Stendan than a building falling down ;) :P  
Any reviews would be greatly loved and appreciated - let me know if you liked it and want to read more.  
Thank you for reading!  
mnm37 x


	2. Chapter 2

Hello! I'm here with chapter 2! A little later than expected so sorry about the wait!

Thank you to everyone who read, faved and followed the first chapter. And an extra big thank you to the wonderful people who have posted such lovely reviews :)

I hope you enjoy this chapter!

* * *

There had been nothing that would have made Brendan walk all the way to the party. Though he was beginning to regret driving as well because this road was not well kept and the tyres kept dropping in potholes that sent filthy water splashing up the sides of his car. How come the Savages had decided to have it so inconveniently far out of town anyway? He had half a mind to turn around and head back.

But that was when he saw the lights. There were no streetlights down the sides of the road he was on, which made the blue flashing that he could see above the hedges up ahead even easier to spot. He knew the emergency vehicle – whichever one it was – was more than likely at the party. Probably police called because of the noise or a fight, or maybe an ambulance because someone had drunk a little bit too much alcohol.

As he pulled up on the grass not too far from the warehouse, he found that had been right in one respect. There was an ambulance there. But it wasn't there to rescue some drunk. There were loads of people gathered outside, and there was something terribly wrong.

There was debris scattered about the grass, people were screaming and shouting and panicking. And they had good reason. The warehouse had partly collapsed.

Brendan was hit full force with the terror that Cheryl and Joel were there. They could be inside. After all he had done that year to keep them safe, the one time he took a night off was the night where everything came crashing down around him – literally. He cut the engine and was out of the car in seconds, walking quickly towards the building. He weaved in and out of the huge crowd of people, eyes scanning for Cheryl and Joel, or anyone he recognised who could tell him where Chez and Joel were. Fear was bubbling inside him, fresh and raw. It was a feeling he'd had far too many times that year, and had hoped he wouldn't feel again for a very long time.

Finally he spotted someone familiar and stormed towards them. He grabbed Ash's upper arm and spun her around. "Ashley, where's Cheryl?"

Ash and her university friends – Brendan recognised the posh one but no-one else – all turned around and started babbling at once about Will Savage's brother. As much as he wanted to care about Dodger, he was more interested in the welfare of his sister and his…well…his Joel.

"Shut up." He snapped abruptly, silencing them all immediately. "Where are Cheryl and Joel?"

Ash pointed towards the building and Brendan's heart sank faster than a stone. He spun around and ran towards the building. Ash ran after him, shouting things at him that he couldn't hear.

He had to skid to a halt however, when the throng of people surrounding the building grew too thick. So he started to elbow his way through.

When he reached the front, he saw the problem. There was only one ambulance there and the three ambulance crew members – two men and a woman - were too busy struggling to keep everyone away from the building.

He spotted Will Savage desperately trying to reason with one of the men, his sister crying beside him. "Let us just try and clear the entrances!"

The ambulance man shook his head "I'm sorry Sir! It is too dangerous. We can only treat the people who were injured outside until the police and fire brigade arrive. You must stay back until the building is declared safe enough, and I'm afraid we haven't the power to do that."

"Well what's taking the police and the fire engine so long?" Dirk Savage shouted. "My son and his girlfriend are in there!"

"The emergency services are always busier close to New Year. The police, fire engines and further ambulances will be here in minutes, Sir, but until then you cannot approach the building. And the more you attempt to get inside the building, the more dangerous you are making it for everyone still inside."

Brendan spun around to face Ash, who was tugging on his sleeve in an attempt to get his attention. "How long ago did this happen?" He asked.

"Less than ten minutes ago. The ambulance crew got here a few minutes ago and are waiting for back up." Ash was watching him in barely disguised fascination. He supposed she was finally seeing the vulnerable side to him that she'd once worked so hard to reveal.

Brendan turned away from her again, looking down the front line of people to see if he could see Cheryl or Joel.

"Chez?" He shouted out, eyes switching from one group of people to another. Please god; don't let her be in the building. "Chez?"

"Bren?" A voice called back.

It was Cheryl. And the voice came from outside.

Brendan shoved past Ash and everyone else that was standing between him and where his sister's voice had come from. She was standing near the end of the line of people surrounding the building. She had her cardigan wrapped around her and her curly hair was messy from where she must have been pulling at it nervously.

"Thank god." He breathed in relief as he gathered her up in his arms. She was crying. He held her out at arm's length and looked her over for any injuries. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine…but…but Joel…he…they won't let us in. We have to wait for the rest of the emergency services to get here."

Brendan's relief disappeared as quickly as it had arrived, "He's still in there?"

"You have to go and talk to them. We have to get him out!"

Brendan nodded quickly. "You stay right here, ok? Don't move. I'll sort this, I promise."

"Brendan." Cheryl's quiet voice had him turning back to her. "There's something else you should know as well…"

Her eyes wandered to one side, and Brendan followed her gaze. He saw Amy Barnes shouting and fighting against Ally, pleading with one of the three ambulance crew.

Oh god.

"Stay here." He ordered his sister, and was at Amy's side in mere seconds.

She, however, had spotted him as well, and before he had time to say anything, she'd ripped herself from Ally's hold and thrown herself at him. "Brendan!" She screeched at him, "Brendan you have to do something! Ste's still in there and no-one will help him!"

His breath held in his throat. Not Stephen. He couldn't lose anyone else.

He spun around to the ambulance guy Amy had been pleading with. "Let me through."

"Sir, you can't approach the building."

Sirens started up in the background and were getting closer.

"Listen," The ambulance guy said, "There's further help approaching as we speak."

"But they might not get here in time." Brendan snapped. He had to get in, but the entrances were blocked apparently. By the time Brendan reached either door, he wouldn't have enough time to get in before he was pulled back. But he had to help Ste and Joel.

And then he heard Dirk's loud voice carry over everyone else's. The man was still arguing with the other ambulance crew and loudly proclaimed "We had already cleared part of the door round the side before you arrived! Just let us carry on clearing that!"

That was all the information Brendan needed. He burst through the people in front of him, dodged the ambulance guy and sprinted around the corner of the building. He heard familiar voices shouting his name from the crowd he'd left behind, but he didn't care. All that mattered was getting Joel and Ste to safety.

He was aware of the ambulance guy pursuing him, so he sped up, easily locating the door round the side. It was pretty blocked up still, but Brendan was a relatively slim guy, so he climbed up over the rubble and squeezed in through the gap that had been cleared at the top, all the while ignoring the shouts of the man behind him. The ambulance man attempted to follow, but he was more frantic then Brendan's terror-fuelled clear focus and his clumsiness meant that more debris fell into the doorway, keeping the man outside, and trapping Brendan in.

x-x

It was weird how well the sounds from outside were blocked out inside the building. He could barely hear the shouting of people and the screaming of sirens. Brendan coughed at the dust that was thick in the air. One of the lighting rigs was hanging on for dear life - flickering in the gloom – and it provided the only light for the downstairs floor. Brendan looked around and could see the stairs still relatively intact on the opposite wall. On the right side, the warehouse was still partially upright. The left side however, was a mess. Part of the ceiling had come down and the furthest left quarter of the bottom floor he couldn't even see behind the collapsed rubble. He hated to think how many people were under that, or trapped behind the wreckage wall in that unseen quarter. There wasn't a door there, so they would have to be dug out through the debris. Joel and Ste had better not be there. But knowing Joel's almost magnet-like way of attracting danger to himself, that was probably exactly where he was.

"Joel?" Brendan called out, hoping he'd be wrong and Joel would just wander out of the shadows, completely fine.

"Hello?" A voice he didn't recognise called out.

He followed it and found a group of people gathered around the front door of the building. There were six of them, and after a scan of all the cut, dusty faces he realised he didn't know any of them.

"Oh thank god someone else made it." One of the girls said.

"Oh no, I've only just joined the party." Brendan said, with his usual amount of dark humour.

The six people looked at him, realised he hadn't a scratch on him, and then stared at him like he was crazy. But what was new there?

"Are you going to help us clear this door?" A boy asked him.

"I've got people to find. This is the most stable part of the building. Stay here, but if that doorway becomes at all unstable you stop clearing it ok?" – He didn't want them making chance of escape from the building even worse. "The emergency services will be here any second, if they're not here already."

"Then why did you come in if they are going to come and get us?"

Brendan didn't respond with the truth, which was that the emergency services were going to save these people first, and they weren't the people Brendan wanted saving. It was a harsh truth, but dangerous situations like these brought out that ugly side in people. Brendan only cared about those he loved and damned anyone else on the best of occasions, and he sure as hell wasn't going to start changing now.

In fact, Brendan didn't respond to the question at all. "Just…do what I said." He said. He didn't care about these people, but if they made his, Ste and Joel's chances of getting out any worse, he was _not _going to be happy.

Then he turned around and headed towards the stairs.

"You're crazy!" Oh that's nice; one of them had pointed it out, out loud. "You'll get yourself injured or killed!"

Brendan tried not to think about who else might have been injured or killed and carried on, ducking under loose and hanging lighting and floorboards and metal work. He was halfway to the stairs when he heard coughing coming from near the bar.

And he immediately changed direction. He rounded the bar, which was littered with debris, to find Darren Osborne sitting propped up against the side of it, the dust clinging to his hair and face as he coughed through it.

He crouched down in front of him. "Darren, are you ok?"

Darren's eyes cracked open, "Brendan?"

"Yeah it's me, are you ok?"

Darren groaned. "I shouldn't have come here, mate, I wasn't supposed to. Man, Nancy will kill me." His voice was raspy as he spoke, and he coughed again.

"Nancy's not in here is she?" Brendan asked quickly. Nancy was pregnant, she and Darren had announced it a couple of months ago when the baby bump had started to show. If Nancy was in here, she would have to become a main priority.

Darren shook his head, but groaned again at the movement. "She's at home. She's gunna be so mad."

"Let's stop worrying about her, and let's worry about you ok?" Brendan spoke slowly, like he used to talk to his sons when they were little, because the guy seemed pretty dazed. Brendan searched Darren's eyes when he asked, "Are you hurt?"

"Don't think I've broken anything." Darren said unsteadily, between coughs.

"Well that's good, right?" Brendan said as he checked the safety-situation of the part of the building Darren was in. "The emergency services are here now, so just stay here and wait for them, ok? There's some people by the front door, if you need them, call out, ok?"

"You're looking for someone." Darren realised, maybe he wasn't as dazed as Brendan first thought.

"Joel and Stephen."

"I don't remember them coming downstairs to go outside." Darren said.

Both their eyes rose to the floor above, which had come down in parts, and was completely gone to the left side. Brendan swallowed loudly.

"Go find them." Darren said.

Brendan hesitated.

"Go, I'm fine and the ambulances are here now right? So go."

Brendan didn't need telling twice. "You'll be fine." He patted Darren's leg awkwardly.

"Thanks mate."

Brendan nodded sharply and raced towards the stairs.

He had to take the stairs carefully. Each step made a noise of complaint, but they were still sturdy enough. Even if they hadn't have been, Brendan would have risked it anyway.

"Joel?" He called out. "Stephen?"

And finally, _finally, _he heard a voice he'd been listening for.

"He…hello?"

Brendan made quick work of the remaining steps and saw Joel standing across the room, helping Theresa up off the floor. "Joel." Brendan said.

Joel's head snapped up. "Brendan?"

Brendan made to walk forwards when Joel yelled again, "Brendan!" He held up a hand. "Don't."

Brendan stopped. "What?" He looked down. The stability – and even the existence – of the floor in areas was patchy at best.

"Just be careful." Joel said warily, hooking Theresa's arm around his neck. She was favouring one leg, leaning against Joel heavily.

Brendan picked his way over, not saying anything more to Joel until he had him wrapped up in a tight hug, Theresa getting kind of squashed by his arm. He pulled back and Joel started babbling in panic, his accent too thick and fast for Brendan to make out much of what the kid was saying.

"It's ok, kid. I'm here. Are you alright?" He held Joel's face in his hands, rubbing his thumb over a trail of blood that was slowly trailing down from Joel's hairline.

"What are you doing here?" Joel asked, now looking worried, as though afraid for _Brendan's _safety. He was the one who had just had a building collapse on him, had blood down his face and a limping girlfriend.

"What do you mean what am I doing here?" Brendan grinned at him, trying to make the lad calm down, "I came to see you DJ." He made a show of looking around. "Looks like you brought the house down, literally."

Sadly, Joel didn't laugh.

"Brendan I mean it…is the door clear downstairs? How did you get in?"

"No, it collapsed again but the police and ambulances are here now, they are going to get you two out."

"Us two? What about you?" Theresa croaked.

Joel looked to Brendan in fear. "Brendan?"

"Joel." Brendan said. "Where is Stephen?"

And then realisation snapped into Joel's eyes. "Ste." He said, like he'd just remembered Ste had been there at all. "He was…"

"He was talking to Rhys…" Theresa coughed. "By the bar."

All three pairs of eyes landed on the make-shift bar. It was surrounded by shattered glass – from shifted windows and destroyed alcohol bottles – and half of the bar had disappeared, fallen through a hole in the floor to the ground floor below.

And there, sticking out from behind the half of the bar still remaining on the floor they were on, was a pair of feet.

Brendan strode towards the person, ignorant of Joel's renewed pleas for him to walk carefully, as he and Theresa followed.

When Brendan reached the bar, he found that it wasn't Ste. He didn't know whether to be disappointed or glad, because Rhys was covered in cuts from the broken glass. He was unconscious.

"Joel, get Theresa downstairs. Darren is down there, keep an eye on him. There's a bunch of people trying to get out the door, wait down there for the doors to be cleared. Understand?"

"But Brendan…"

"Understand?" Brendan made it clear that his instructions were not up for negotiation.

Joel didn't move. "You will be coming down soon, right?"

Brendan nodded distractedly, looking around. Where the hell could Stephen be if he wasn't here? "I'm staying with Rhys. Get Theresa downstairs, she's the main priority for you. Got it?"

The mention of Theresa had the desired effect, Joel seemed to snap back to some sense, and he began to steadily help Theresa across the unsteady floor.

"Oh and Joel?" Brendan called back to the kid. Joel turned around. "You've had a pretty crap year this year; let's hope 2013 is better for you, yeah?"  
What with Joel losing his dad to prison, being stabbed, being kidnapped and stuck in a van with a grenade, Lynsey's death, the problems with the club, Sampson and Walker, and now _this_, surely 2013 couldn't possibly be any _worse _for the kid.

Joel might have smiled, but from the long distance and in the darkened room, Brendan couldn't tell for sure.

He waited until Joel and Theresa were out of sight and then he allowed himself to really freak out. Where the hell was Ste? There were holes and fallen debris all around the building. But Joel and Theresa were fine, Darren was fine, Rhys was…well…possibly fine. So why wasn't Ste anywhere to be found?

"Stephen?" Brendan called out, eyes switching from object to object around the room. His feet crunched over shards of glass as he turned around. "Stephen?"

Rhys groaned.

Brendan knelt down so fast his knees hit the glass on the floor hard. He hissed through the pain and held Rhys' chin in his fingers. "Rhys?"

"Huh?" Rhys was still half out of it.

"Rhys!" Brendan demanded a little louder, gripping his chin a tiny bit harder.

"Ow." Rhys mumbled.

"Rhys." Brendan said again. "Where is Stephen?" Nothing. "I said. Where. Is. Stephen?"

Rhys muttered something that sounded like 'talking' and 'pushed me over' and 'floor went down' before he slipped back into unconsciousness again.

"Damn it!" Brendan hit the side of the bar and the thing shifted a little further into the hole. And that's when he thought about the one thing he'd been too scared to consider this far.

The huge gaping hole right beside the bar. Where Ste had been talking to Rhys right before this had all happened.

Oh god.

Brendan rounded the bar, leaving Rhys where he was – he didn't know how injured he was, so didn't move him – and walked around the opposite side of the hole. He stood right on the edge. "Stephen?"

Where the hell was he?

"Stephen!"

Please god let him be ok.

Please god don't let him have fallen down there.

If Ste had fallen down there, then he would be behind the wall of collapsed debris on the ground floor's left hand side. He would be one of the people Brendan had thought the emergency services would have to dig out.

x-H.O-x

Joel treaded carefully back up the stairs. He could hear Brendan calling out Ste's name over and over again.

"Stephen!" Brendan was yelling again when Joel reached the top of the stairs.

Joel stopped dead when he saw where Brendan was standing: on the opposite side of the hole in the floor to where Rhys and the bar were. He was standing right on the edge. "Brendan." Joel cried out, the name catching in his throat in fear.

He saw Brendan look up and meet his eyes.

"Brendan, they're clearing the doors, the emergency services can take it from here." Joel said. He had to get Brendan to safety. The emergency services could do more to help Ste than Brendan could alone. "We've got to go. The building could collapse completely."

Brendan just stared back at him, looking completely and utterly focused and serious when he said, "I'm not leaving without…"

He didn't get to finish the sentence.

Joel could only watch and cry out with horror as the floor under Brendan's feet gave way and he disappeared down through the hole to the floor below.

* * *

And that's all for now! I will try my best to update again before the weekend.  
I hope you enjoyed this chapter.  
Thank you for reading!  
Please review if you enjoyed it! Every review is loved and appreciated! :)  
mnm37 x


	3. Chapter 3

Hey guys! Sorry that this update is later than expected. I was away this weekend.  
I am also sorry that this update is rather short, but I thought I would try and give you guys a little something to read whilst I get the next part written.

Thank you so so much to everyone who has read, followed and faved this story so far, and also a mega huge thank you to everyone who has left such lovely reviews, you are all awesome :D

I really hope you enjoy this chapter. Thank you for reading!

Disclaimer: I do not own Hollyoaks, sadly :(

* * *

Brendan blinked in confusion. His head hurt when he opened his eyes, fuzzy spots of light dancing in front of an otherwise black background. It took him a second to remember where he was and what had happened. He started as his mind supplied a replay of the fall, and he attempted to push himself off the floor, but pain shot up through his left arm and he ended up crippling back to the ground. He grumbled angrily and turned to lie on his back to look up at the circle above him – the hole he had fallen down. He could hear Joel screaming his name from somewhere far above him but he couldn't see him. Brendan doubted he'd been unconscious for long. As he lay there, he mentally assessed his injuries. He'd obviously hit his head and landed on his arm on the way down. His whole body ached and he could feel glass jabbing him in the back and it made him wonder if any had stuck in him as he'd hit the ground. He couldn't tell if any part of him hurt more or less than the other parts and it was too dark to see, so he gave up thinking about his own problems.

Besides, he had other priorities than himself right now.

"Joel!" He yelled back up towards where Joel's voice was coming from.

"Brendan!" Came Joel's instant, shouted reply. "Are you ok?"

Not the best question to ask someone who had just fallen down a storey in a warehouse, but ok... "I'm alright." He yelled back. "Just go and tell someone I'm down here, yeah?"

"Ok," Joel sounded like he wasn't convinced by anything Brendan had just said. "Ok, just hold on and stay there, I'll…I'll get help!"

Well, it wasn't like Brendan was going to be going anywhere. He sighed loudly. Even from here he could hear the creaking above him as Joel moved towards the stairs. What was left of this building wasn't going to last much longer. Brendan just hoped he, Joel and Stephen weren't still in it when it decided to fall down completely.

"Stephen?" He called out. There was no response.

Brendan tried to make out exactly where he had fallen into. There was barely any light. He knew that he was trapped in a small, stuffy space between the real warehouse walls and the blockage of debris. The air was thick with dust, which was lingering and just not settling. "Stephen?" Ste had to be here, there was nowhere else he could be, unless…  
Brendan hadn't seen any dead people, but that's because he'd been looking for people he had hoped would be alive and able to reply. There could have been dead people lying in the dark where he hadn't been looking. That was a terrifying thought. And what made it worse was that Ste could have been one of them.

"Stephen?" He called again.

Still no response.

He squinted in the dark, his eyes adjusting, and soon he could make out just enough in the limited light to be able to look around for Stephen. And then he would look for a way out. Find Stephen, get out. And only in that order. He would not leave the building without Stephen.

He used his good arm to push himself up. He treaded carefully, over chunks of debris and wood and god knows what else. He called out Ste's name every now and again, hoping for a reply. It didn't come.

Suddenly, his foot hit something soft and he froze. He crouched down slowly, his legs aching beyond belief, and he reached out his good hand. His fingers met jeans. He moved his hand and found an arm, and then a limp hand. He remembered finding Lynsey just as limp and lifeless only about six months before and he pulled back like the skin had burned him. Oh god. Please, please don't let this be Stephen.

He moved his arm and finally his fingers found long hair. He hadn't realised he'd been holding his breath until it escaped him in one huge whoosh of relief. He placed two fingers against the girl's neck. He couldn't feel a pulse.

So he moved on.

He found the next body a few steps later. This one was male, and dead as well. But after tracing the dead guy's facial features for a moment or two, he knew instantly it wasn't Stephen. Brendan had spent enough nights tracing Ste's face in the dark whilst the younger man slept. Brendan knew Stephen's face and body as well as his own. And this unfortunate man was not Stephen.

So once again, Brendan carried on. Every movement made every inch of his body scream in painful protest, his arm was throbbing and he knew a bone had to be chipped or cracked, but as long as his hand and arm were relatively functional – painfully so but functional nonetheless – he would ignore it. He would ignore it for as long as he had to. He didn't care for himself, he cared about Stephen.

He felt his way around some more until he got to a pile of debris. By feeling the edges of a chunk of it he assumed it was the remains of the part of the bar that had fallen through the hole.

Stephen had been next to the bar when the floor had collapsed.

"Stephen?" He called out.

No reply.

He sighed and made to move on to the next section of darkness, but then he stopped dead. He was sure he had just heard something.

He stood stone still and listened.

Nothing.

Maybe he had imagined it.

"Stephen?" He asked the darkness again, not being able to help the broken twinge in his voice. What if he was too late? The two other people he had found down here were dead. It didn't bode much hope for Stephen, and his panic had risen with each dead body he'd found. He was trying to keep calm, because his quickened breathing was sending flares of pain around his chest, but it was hard not to despair.

And then suddenly, there it was again. It was hard to hear, but it was definitely there – a low, quiet moan.

He followed it, drawn to the sound like a fly to a light, and, after feeling around for a little, he realised that there was someone half under the pile of debris he'd just checked, propped up against part of the destroyed bar. He felt the person's facial features – the closed eyelids, the soft hair which was slightly matted with blood and dust, the jawline, the nose and then the slack mouth that was letting out shallow little breaths. Brendan whispered "Stephen?"

And Stephen made that little sound again. He was barely conscious, but still he had recognised Brendan's voice, as between his breathing – and thank god he was still breathing – he murmured, "Brendan?"

* * *

I'm afraid that's all for now!  
I will try and update asap.  
Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed this chapter!  
Any reviews will be greatly loved and appreciated!  
mnm37 x


	4. Chapter 4

Sorry for the wait for this update. It's a pretty big chapter though so I hope you'll forgive me.

A massively huge thank you to everyone who has read, faved, followed and reviewed this story. I'm so glad you are enjoying it, and the reviews really make me smile. :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Hollyoaks, or it's characters. If I did there would be far too much Brendan, Ste and Stendan anyway ;) You'd get sick of them :P

* * *

"Yeah," Brendan said softly, shifting his crouched position uncomfortably, but never taking his hands from Ste's face. "Yeah Stephen it's me."

Ste made another little noise, and Brendan stroked his thumbs over Ste's cheekbones encouragingly. "Can you open your eyes for me?"

"Bren…" The rest of what Ste was mumbling trailed off in a slur of words Brendan couldn't make out.

"Stephen. It's Brendan." Brendan said again, his firm voice sounding far too loud in the deathly quiet of the building. It was incredible how much the thick warehouse walls and debris blocked out all the sounds from outside. There should be numerous police vans and ambulances and fire engines milling outside now, with everyone working to get inside, but Brendan couldn't hear any of it. Knowing they were there though, was a comforting thought at least, but it was a small one in comparison to how comforted Brendan would be if Ste properly woke up and was alright. "Open your eyes for me." He repeated.

And thank god, Ste seemed to be listening, because after a moment or two, Brendan felt Ste's eyelashes flutter against his hands, fighting to open, and finally _finally _they did. "Brendan?" Ste asked again in confusion as he slowly came to. "Huh?" He started to try and move, but then realised that he couldn't – whether due to being trapped or injured Brendan was yet to find out – and his breath quickened in panic. "Wha?"

"Don't move." Brendan ordered softly, and for the second time that night, Ste obeyed him immediately in his half-conscious state and he stopped struggling. "Stephen, do you remember what happened?"

"The roof came down," Ste said slowly, Brendan couldn't really see his face, so he couldn't' tell what Ste's facial expression was as he recalled what happened, but Ste's voice sounded scared and confused as he remembered, "The floor went down." Brendan felt the shudder that shook Ste's body. "I fell down." He seemed to become slightly more aware, as though beginning to understand the situation he was in, and who he was in it with. "Brendan?" He asked again, and Brendan was sure he would never tire of hearing Ste say his name after tonight. "What are you doing here? Are you alright?"

Trust Stephen to think of others before himself. He was the one stuck under a pile of rubble, not Brendan. Stephen was the one who was inside the building when it collapsed, not Brendan. Alright? Brendan was supposed to be asking Stephen that, not the other way around.

"I'm fine." Brendan said, though he wasn't actually sure how true that statement was. "Are _you_ hurt?" He asked, not sure if he wanted to hear the answer.

"I don't know." Ste sounded genuinely upset and unsure about that, which was worrying.

Ste being awake, talking and moving a little were obvious good signs, but beyond that, Brendan had no idea how injured Ste might be.

Ste then managed to elaborate a little. "I think I might have cracked ribs. It feels like I might."

Brendan had a fleeting feeling of guilt, knowing all too well that he was the reason that Ste knew what cracked and broken ribs felt like.

Ste didn't linger on the subject though, and Brendan wasn't allowed to, as Ste then said "I can't feel my leg though." And all thoughts of guilt were replaced by concern.

"Both?" Brendan asked quickly, Ste's voice was still slurred from being unconscious and Brendan wasn't sure if he'd heard singular or plural. If Ste couldn't feel either of his legs, that was bad. Really bad.

Thankfully, Ste shook his head. "Just my…my right one. There's something trapping it. When I was awake before it hurt loads but now I've woken up again it feels numb. I couldn't lift the stuff off it by myself."

"Ok." Brendan whispered, trailing a hand softly over the hair behind Ste's ear. "Ok, Stephen." Then he made to stand up and help lift whatever debris was trapping Stephen where he was. He wouldn't wait for the ambulance crew. Brendan was a step closer to getting Stephen out of this building and he was going to try and get them out as quickly as possible.

But the moment his hands left Ste's face, the younger man panicked. "Don't…" He sounded so vulnerable and afraid, it was heart breaking. "Brendan…please! Don't go! Don't leave me here."

"I'm not leaving you." Brendan reassured him, the kid was obviously terrified of being left alone, so Brendan felt the need to spell everything out to help calm Ste down. "I'm not going anywhere without you. Understand? I just thought we should try and move this stuff off you. Ok?"

Ste made a little distressed noise, his breathing sounding raspy with inhalation of dust and laboured with pain, but he nodded. "Yeah, yeah ok."

"Good." Brendan cleared off some of the smaller pieces of building material, but then he got to the large, heavy, offending object, which he could barely make out in the light, but maintained his earlier assessment that is it was a part of the bar. It should have been easy enough to lift from where he was standing. He grabbed hold of it, ignoring the screaming protest of his left arm. "You ready?"

Ste gulped in a breath, he sounded nervous. "Yeah."

Brendan had barely moved the thing before Ste cried out in pain. "No! No, no put it down! Stop! It hurts!"

Brendan let go immediately, each distressed and agonised word Ste said hurting him inside. "It's ok Stephen."

Ste was stuttering out sobs, his breathing hitching.

"Hey!" Brendan said, resuming his position crouched in front of the frightened younger man. "Hey, hey it's ok. It's ok." He soothed, wiping at what he hoped was Ste's tears and not streaks of blood.

"M'sorry." Ste gasped through his tears, "I can't…I think there's something stuck in it…in my leg. Pl…please don't try and move it again."

"I'm not going to try and move it again." Brendan told him, "We're just going to have to sit here and wait for help to get to us, aren't we?" He sat down beside Ste.

"No." Ste said, "No, no…Brendan, you've got to try and get out of here! Don't wait here with me, something might happen and I don't want you here if it does."

Great, so Brendan came all this way and fell all that way to save Stephen, and now Stephen was more concerned about saving Brendan than himself? Well that wasn't going to work no matter how hard Stephen tried.

"I'm not going anywhere." Brendan confirmed, shifting himself closer to Ste. "We're trapped in this part of the building. And even if I could save myself, I'm not leaving without you, ok? The ambulances and stuff were on the way when I came in; they'll be digging us out before too long. So until then, we'll have to wait."

"Wait." Ste said, "What?"

Brendan flinched. "Uhh…"

"Wait…" Ste said again, sounding accusing now as he figured out what Brendan had just said. "You weren't even supposed to be at the party. I asked Chez and Joel if you were coming and they said you weren't."

Brendan took a second to feel secretly pleased that Ste had been looking for him at the party, before he attempted to explain himself, and he wasn't going to lie. "I know. I arrived just after the building collapsed."

He heard Ste gasp – half in shock and half in anger – "So you came in here? Put yourself in danger? _Why?"_

Brendan ducked his head and lowered his eyes, even though he knew Stephen couldn't see his guilty expression. "I heard you and Joel were in here when it collapsed."

"So you came in? How did you even get to me? You said we are trapped in this part?"

"I came in the way you did." Brendan said. "Dropped in, so to speak."

"You fell? God, Brendan you could have got yourself killed!"

"Don't turn this on me." Brendan snapped. "You and Joel were the ones who got yourselves in this mess in the first place."

"Did you find Joel? I was trying to make them get out but I couldn't."

"I found him and Theresa. They're looking much better than you."

"Oh, thanks." Ste muttered.

"What do you mean you were trying to make them get out?"

"I knew something wasn't right with the building. I was trying to convince everyone to go outside to watch the fireworks…Amy and Chez went…" Ste paused. "Did they get out?" He asked, fear cutting through his voice more than it had at any point before. "Did you see them outside?"

"Yeah," Brendan reached out in the dark with his good arm and found Ste's hand, patting the back of it lightly in some awkward form of comfort. "Yeah I saw them outside."

Ste let out a sigh of relief. "Thank god."

Brendan made to withdraw his arm, but the moment his hand lifted from Ste's, Ste snatched it into his grasp and held it tightly with a blood-slick and dusty hand. "Are you scared, Brendan?"

Brendan rubbed his thumb in soothing circles against Ste's hand. "You know me, Stephen. I'm not scared of anything."

Ste began to laugh, but it choked off into wracking coughs. "Don't…" Ste gasped for breath. "Don't lie to me. I know you…"

"Better than anybody, right?" Brendan cut in. "Then you don't need to ask that question. You'll know how I felt when I heard you were in here." He wasn't going to voice aloud how petrified he had been. That wasn't Brendan's way. Ste would know he wouldn't admit to it further than this.

"Right." Was all Ste said, just as Brendan had predicted, "Sorry."

They sat in silence for a moment, until Ste said, "I'm scared, me. I just want to go home."

"I know," Brendan said softly, "I know. And you can soon, the ambulance guys will be here soon. And you'll be fine, I promise."

"Don't promise me things Brendan, not when you don't know if you can keep them."

The unspoken _like you always do_, hung heavy between them, but Ste hadn't meant it cruelly. He was just being Ste, the one who pointed out the obvious, always blunt, open and honest, who spoke Brendan's flaws aloud for him to see, possibly in the hopes that one day he might change.

"Yeah…sorry." Brendan mumbled sheepishly.

They sat in silence for a minute or two, and in the quiet, Brendan thought he could start to hear voices and movement from the other side of the debris. He hoped he wasn't just imagining it.

"Do you have a phone with you so we could ring someone and tell them where we are?" Ste suggested after a while, his voice sounded slurred once again. "Mines broken."

"Left it in the car." Brendan said shortly, and hadn't that been a mistake.

"Oh." Ste said. He didn't sound too bothered though, which was weird.

Ste flexed his fingers between Brendan's, and it made Brendan suddenly aware of how cold and clammy Ste's hand felt against his own.

"Stephen?" Brendan asked, "You ok?"

"Huh?" Ste asked, He sounded dazed. "Me? I'm…"

Brendan wrenched his hand from Ste's and brought it up to Ste's face instead. His skin was cold to touch. And then it occurred to Brendan, Ste said something was stuck in his leg. During the time since the building collapsed – less than twenty minutes ago maybe? Brendan had lost track – Ste will have been bleeding. It could be a reason why Ste was so cold, and if it was blood loss, then Brendan couldn't sit around waiting any longer.

"Stephen? Are you bleeding?" Brendan asked urgently.

"Dunno." Ste said, sounding increasingly vague, "Can't tell."

"Jesus." Brendan cursed, propping up Ste's head as it started to drop forwards. "Stay with me, ok?"

"I'm not going anywhere." Ste reminded him, sounding far too amused for the situation he was in.

Blood loss. Brendan confirmed to himself. Definitely.

And just to top off Brendan's wonderful, luck-filled evening so far, the building made a sickening creak. Brendan heard a voice call from the other side of the wall, "We're in!" But the rescuers weren't going to be fast enough, and with people finally shifting the debris and getting inside, their side of the building was getting weaker. They couldn't stay here any longer.

The building above them made another terrible noise, and Brendan decided it was time to leave.

"Ok Stephen, we've got to move you."

"Do we have to? I can hear people."

Brendan stopped sitting around and knelt right next to Ste, "The people getting in will save the first people they find, we will be the last ones they get to. And we haven't got time to wait around anymore. The building isn't going to last."

"But my leg…"

"I'd rather you have a bad leg than be dead. Wouldn't you?"

"Yeah." Ste replied quietly. His voice quaked with the anticipation of the pain he was going to be in when Brendan moved the bar off his leg.

Brendan cupped Ste's face and leant his forehead against the side of Ste's temple, "I know it's going to hurt," He said softly, "But I'm going to be here with you, ok? You're going to be fine. And I really do promise this time. I'm going to get you out of here."

"Ok, Brendan." Ste breathed, "Ok."

Brendan pressed a chaste kiss to Ste's temple and stood up. The sudden movement had his head spinning dizzily, and he knew that he wasn't in too good a condition himself. The hit on the head had ached before, but now it was banging.

Brendan pushed his own pain aside and braced himself on the part of the bar that was trapping Ste's leg. "Ready?"

The building shuddered as something was pulled out of the wall of debris behind him and some light broke through into the area they had been trapped in.

Light fell in a stream onto Ste's face. He had scratches on his face and a particularly nasty cut on his forehead, just above his eye. His eyes were clouded in pain and his skin was ghostly pale. Ste looked at Brendan, blinking blindly in the light until they adjusted to the sudden change. "Jesus, Brendan." He said when he saw Brendan.

Brendan supposed he looked just as bad then.

Ste's eyes then fell down to the ground behind Brendan. Big mistake.

Ste had spotted the dead girl, who had been lit up not too far away from where they had been sitting. "Oh god." He choked. "Is she…is she dead? Oh god, she's dead, she's dead isn't she?"

"Yeah." Brendan said quickly, not bothering to sugar-coat it. He didn't know how to make this one better, and they didn't have time.

"Oh god." Ste was panicking now, "Oh god."

"Ste…Stephen! Look at me!"

Ste obeyed. Frightened eyes found his.

"We are going to get out of here. Trust me."

"I trust you." Ste said, and he looked as surprised as Brendan felt at Ste saying it.

"You ready?" Brendan gripped the bar. The floor above them cracked and splintered.

Ste bit his lip, looked up and nodded. "Just do it."

Brendan wrenched the bar upwards.

Ste screamed, but Brendan didn't have time to feel guilty. He lurched forward and grabbed Ste, hauling him towards him, half onto his feet, as the building made a choking sound, as though it was finally giving up on life, and part of the floor above came crashing down on the very place where Ste had just been.

"Shit." Ste hissed faintly, teetering sideways into Brendan, who caught him and tried to prop him up.

"We have to keep going." Brendan said. "This building isn't going to last." He dared a glance down at Ste's leg, and saw blood seeping out of a wound in his thigh. Whatever had been stuck in it wasn't there now. Ste's ankle didn't look like it was at the right angle either, which didn't help matters. The building _and _Stephen weren't going to last at this rate.

"Come on." He slung Ste's arm around his shoulder and half-dragged Ste towards the hole that had been made in the debris wall.

He began to rip at the debris, trying to make a gap big enough for him to get through. His hands and arms were cut in the process, and his arm with the possibly cracked bone hurt like nothing else, but he carried on.

Finally he got a hole big enough to get through. "Hello!" He shouted through it.

"Guys!" He heard a voice, "There's someone over here!"

Thank god.

He looked over at Stephen, and saw that he had slumped to the floor. He was unconscious.

Ok, maybe don't thank god just yet.

Brendan stooped down and hooked his bad arm under Ste's shoulders, and the good one under Ste's legs, and lifted him off the floor. He scrambled through awkwardly, something sticking into his shoulder along the way but he didn't care.

And after what felt like a lifetime later, he was bathed in light and met with people in helmets and uniforms.

Someone tried to take Ste off him. Several others were talking to him. He didn't listen to a word they said.

No.

No, they weren't taking Ste.

He'd promised to get Ste out of the building. And that was what he was going to do.

"Get out my way." He snarled and barged past them all towards the cleared doorway.

x-H.O-x

Cheryl had been hysterical for over ten minutes now. People had tried to calm her but their attempts had been useless.

When she'd asked Brendan to speak to the ambulance crew, she hadn't at all thought her crazy, stupid brother would run into the ruined building in search of Joel and Ste. Her crazy, stupid brother, who she prayed more than anything was going to be alright. She loved him. No matter how many times she had said she hated him that year, she loved him.

Joel had come out of the building not three minutes ago, telling them that Brendan had fallen through the second-storey floor. Cheryl's legs had gone from under her, and she'd been sobbing for the rest of that time, pleading to anyone and everyone near her to help save her big brother.

No-one was listening.

Survivors were being brought out, but not one was her brother.

x-H.O-x

Brendan rounded the side of the building, and he had to squint his eyes against the sudden blast of blue flashing siren lights and he was hit with the sound of people. He felt all the eyes of the huge crowd on him, but he didn't look back at them.

He didn't dare look down at the boy in his arms to truly inspect the state he was in.

He was too busy spotting the nearest ambulance and striding towards them.

He heard someone scream. It sounded like Amy's voice. "No! No! Oh god no!"

He felt his left arm under Ste's shoulders snap. Heard the bone crack loudly. His cracked bone had broken at last. It nearly gave way, but he just hoisted Ste further up onto his shoulder and continued.

"Take him." Brendan snapped as he reached the ambulance. "Take him!"

And then Ste had left his arms.

His arms felt empty, but he knew he'd gotten Ste out.

He'd gotten Ste out.

Ste was safe.

As the adrenaline rush drained, the pain took its place.

_God _he was in pain.

He faintly heard someone shouting his name.

It sounded like Cheryl.

x-H.O-x

Cheryl had looked up when Amy had screamed.

Brendan was rushing towards an ambulance. Ste Hay was lying limp in Brendan's arms, his head hanging back, the blood on him starkly contrasting with his skin, which was as white as snow. One of his legs was visibly dripping blood and the ankle on the same leg looked broken.

Brendan was conscious at least, but looked no better than Ste. The light of the ambulance shone off a dark trail of sticky blood that was running down Brendan's neck from a wound on the side of his head. He was covered in cuts and gouges. Glass that was stuck in her brother's skin glinted wickedly in the lights. There was also something sticking in his shoulder.

When Brendan passed Stephen over to an ambulance man, his left arm was at a sickeningly broken angle as it fell uselessly to his side.

"Brendan!" She shrieked. "Brendan!"

Brendan turned his head, in his usual manner, with a cock of his head as his eyes searched the crowd. He looked confused. The ambulance crew were trying to talk to him but he wasn't paying them any attention. His eyes were still searching.

Finally his eyes landed on her. His eyes widened as though he recognised she was upset.

And then he looked down at himself...at his injuries like he hadn't noticed them before.

And then he blacked out, falling to his knees, before keeling forward onto the grass.

* * *

That's all for now I'm afraid - but yey! They are out of the building! But are they safe?  
I'm afraid you'll have to wait about a week to find out because I am on holiday.  
This story has about two chapters left, me thinks.  
Thank you so much for reading this chapter, I hope you enjoyed.  
Any reviews would be so, so appreciated! :)  
mnm37 x


	5. Chapter 5

Ahhhh sorry for the long wait for this update! It got a bit longer than expected so there will be another two chapters to go methinks.

Thank you so much to everyone who has read, reviewed, faved and followed this story so far. You guys are awesome :D

I hope you enjoy this chapter :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Hollyoaks.

* * *

30th December 2012

There were many reasons why Brendan hated hospitals. Bad experiences were, of course, the main factor behind it, for both the time he had had to spend in them, and the circumstances that had put him, or someone else he knew, in them. But there were other things too. He hated the clinical, blinding whiteness of the floors, the ceilings, the walls, the sheets, the corridors. He disliked the noise, the hospital clothing and that clean, medical smell that clung to everything. He didn't like the food, he didn't like the waiting, or the daytime TV that people stuck in hospital beds had no way of escaping. He disliked the gift shop with the cheery cards and flowers because he never knew what to get, and he despised being on the receiving end of sympathy gifts most of all, because most of the time the people who gave him the cards probably hoped that he wouldn't _get well soon _at all_._ But for those who did care for him, he wasn't particularly fond of their fussing either. He couldn't abide worried friends and relatives. And he certainly didn't like _being _the worried friend or relative.

But when his eyes slowly blinked in the bright hospital lights, shining starkly from that far-too-white ceiling above, the feeling of his closest worried relative clutching onto his hand, well that…that was actually kind of nice.

"Chez?" He croaked, turning his head slightly on the large, numerous pillows to see his sister's, pale, vacant expression. He hadn't seen her look like that since Lynsey's death. He frowned slightly and twitched the fingers of the hand she was holding, "Chez?"

She snapped out of it as soon as she felt his fingers move in her palm. "Bren?" She said, looking at him, and at seeing him awake, tears sprang to her eyes at the exact same time as a smile sprang to her lips. "Brendan!" She said, a little louder, a lot more relieved. "Thank god you're awake! I've been so worried!"

Brendan watched her, not quite remembering why he was here this time. What had he done now?

She must have seen his confusion. "You do remember what happened right? The building collapsing? They said you got a pretty nasty wound on your head and that you'd gotten concussion, but you hadn't cracked your head open or anything. Have you got memory loss or something? Do you think I should get somebody? Tell them you're awake?"

Brendan zoned out of what Cheryl was saying the moment she said 'building collapsing'. The memories hit him like an avalanche. He looked down at his left arm, which was in a pot and sling, he saw the bandaging around his middle, the stitches on various deep cuts on his body, his left shoulder ached and he could feel the slight pressure of a bandage wrapped around his head. But that stuff didn't matter…

"Where's Stephen?" He asked abruptly, effectively halting Cheryl's panicking about going to get a doctor and whether he'd gotten memory loss. "Is he ok? I got him out. He's got to be ok. If he's not…I can't…_please…" _His breath hitched, uncontrolled: what if he'd been too late? What if Ste hadn't made it? "Tell me he's ok."

Cheryl squeezed his hand, with a small smile, "See for yourself." She nodded across the room.

Brendan looked at her in confusion for a moment, before turning his head to look in the opposite direction. He hadn't realised that he wasn't the only occupant in the room. There were two beds. He was in one, and in the other…

"Stephen." Brendan breathed. Ste was asleep and looked incredibly peaceful, which Brendan supposed was due to plenty of pain-relief meds. Ste had a pot on his right leg, which reached up to just under his knee, and his leg was propped up and out of the hospital covers, which gave Brendan a good view of the large bandage around the wound in Ste's thigh. There was a small bandage patch on Ste's forehead, hiding the gash underneath, and Ste's chest and middle were bandaged and bruised. In fact, quite a lot of Ste's pale skin was scattered with bruising and cuts, and Brendan wondered if he looked in a similar state.

"Brendan, you have no idea how lucky you both are." Cheryl was saying, a haunted edge to her voice. "Everyone else they found in the part of the building where you found Ste was dead."

Brendan choked and stared at her. "All of them?"

Cheryl nodded sadly. "You and Ste, they have no idea how you both…" She stopped, tears shining in her eyes. "I'm so glad you are both safe."

"I know." Brendan said, reaching out with his good hand to catch a falling tear on his sister's cheek with his thumb. "How's Joel? And Theresa?"

"They're fine. Joel's been discharged and Theresa's on crutches with a sprained ankle, but they're fine."

Brendan nodded, his head throbbing slightly with the movement. "Good. I'm glad you're all safe."

He meant it. The relief he felt at knowing Cheryl, Ste and Joel were safe and alive was overwhelming, and suddenly he felt incredibly exhausted again.

His eyes were drifting shut when Cheryl said "Bren?"

"Hmm?" He hummed sleepily.

"When Ste wakes up, can you not tell him about what I just told you? He's been scared enough already and it will devastate him."

"Already?" Brendan repeated, his eyes flicked back to Ste and he couldn't help them lingering on his ex. "He's been awake already?"

"Apparently Ste woke up briefly in the ambulance on the way to hospital and was absolutely freaked out when you weren't with him. It's one of the reasons why you are in a room together. When they brought everyone from the accident in, and what with it being New Year's Eve tomorrow, the hospital rooms got a bit overcrowded. Because of that, and the way Ste had acted in the ambulance, they thought it might be better to put you both in the same room."

"Good." Brendan mumbled, his eyelids feeling heavy as he began to lose the battle to keep them open. "Can keep an eye on him…"

"Yeah." Cheryl squeezed his hand once again and leant forward to press a gentle kiss to Brendan's cheek. "You sure can, Bren."

x-H.O-x

When Brendan next woke up, there was no-one holding his hand. Cheryl wasn't sitting beside him anymore. He turned his head to the other side of the room and his eyes met Ste's. The lad was lying in bed, just staring at him.

"Brendan?" Ste's whisper still carried loud across the room.

The corner of Brendan's mouth quirked up in a smile. "Hello Stephen."

"I thought I was dreaming." Ste said. His voice was raspy and low from sleep and a sore throat.

"Which part?" Brendan asked. It was so nice to hear Ste's voice, when not that many hours ago, Brendan had been terrified that he may never hear it again.

"All of it, at first. Like the building was just some nightmare." Ste admitted, "But then I woke up in the ambulance and you weren't there."

"You remember that?" Ste should have been as high as a kite at that point. How could he remember?

"I just remember knowing you weren't there and I…" It was nice to see the blush on Ste's cheeks too, no longer ghostly white from blood loss. "I panicked, a little. But then I woke up here, and so I thought I must have just dreamt you coming to save me. Then I turned my head and…"

"Here I am." Brendan finished for him.

"You saved me." Ste said.

Brendan shifted uncomfortably. "I did."

"You're an idiot."

Brendan started. That wasn't quite what he'd been expecting to hear. He glared at Ste. "I came to save you! How can you call me an idiot?!"

"But who would have been there to save _you?_" Ste argued, "I would have never forgiven myself if anything…" Ste stopped and looked Brendan over. "If anything _worse _had happened to you, because I'm feeling guilty enough for how you look right now."

Brendan snorted angrily, "I won't try so hard to save you next time."

"Wait." Ste said, "You didn't let me finish." He smiled, "You're an idiot for risking your life. But…thank you. You are right, I wouldn't be here if…"

"Don't." Brendan snapped abruptly. He closed his eyes, trying to block out the _what ifs _and other scenarios pushing into his head. What if he hadn't saved Ste in time? What would he have done? He hated thinking about it.

"Sorry." Ste said. And the room descended into silence.

"How are you feeling?" Ste broke the silence after a couple of minutes, never one for keeping quiet.

"Shit." Brendan summed up, he then scanned Ste critically. "You?"

"Leg hurts like a bitch." Ste replied. "I need more painkillers."

Brendan snorted again, this time in amusement. "Do you want a nurse?"

"No." Ste said, still staring at him. Brendan didn't think Ste had taken his eyes off him once since Brendan had woken up. It made Brendan wonder how long Ste had been watching him whilst Brendan had been asleep. "I want to see Amy and the kids. Where is everyone?"

"Cheryl was here." Brendan said. "I don't know about anyone else. I'm sure they are around."

Ste's face crumpled a little as he asked, "Do you know about the other people in the building?"

He knew a little, but it wasn't good news, and good news was what he wanted to give Ste. He couldn't see the lad's heart break. He'd seen that far too many times before. So he bit his tongue for now. "No. Maybe we shouldn't think about that for a little while."

Ste nodded, eyes sad, and finally looked away. Brendan knew it was because Ste had guessed he was lying. He just hoped Ste knew he was lying in order to protect him.

Ste didn't comment on it though. "How long have we been here?"

Brendan shrugged, and then regretted it as his arm protested in pain. He gritted his teeth. "No idea."

"How long are they going to keep us here?"

Brendan didn't have answers for that either. "No idea."

x-H.O-x

Cheryl was overjoyed to see both Brendan and Ste awake when she next went into the room.

They had been talking before she'd come into the room, but they silenced the minute they heard the door. Two pairs of blue eyes turned to look at her.

"Hey," She said, smiling at them. "It's good to see you both awake."

"Chez!" Ste seemed pleased to see her, but she could still see the pain on his bruised and cut face.

"How are you guys doing?"

"Ok." Brendan replied for both of them, with a small smile.

"How long have we been here?" Ste asked. "How long do we have to stay here? Who else was in the building? Are they ok? Where's Amy? What…"

"Stephen." Brendan's voice effectively ceased Ste's tirade of questions. "One at a time."

Cheryl could see the fondness in Brendan's eyes as he looked at the younger man, but Ste's eyes were fixed firmly on Cheryl and she could clearly see the hopeful eagerness in them.

"You've been here about twelve hours." She said. "I don't know how long they will make you stay, they haven't told me yet."

"And the others?" Brendan urged her.

She gave him an uncomfortable look, she'd asked him not to mention any of this to Ste. But she supposed he meant it for the best. They had the right to know the details, though she thought it was too soon to tell them. But she knew they would find out sooner or later.

"Twenty-two people were in the building when it collapsed. But Brendan made it twenty-three. People we know who were inside were Joel and Theresa, Darren, Rhys, Texas and Dodger. Joel has been discharged and Theresa will be soon. They are keeping Darren in overnight and Rhys for a couple more days. They are both stable though. Dodger and Texas are in a bit of a worse state…" Cheryl cleared her throat, her vision blurring as tears filled her eyes again. "They think Dodger will make it. Texas, they aren't so sure."

She saw Ste's eyes sparkle with tears almost immediately. In Brendan's she saw nothing. Brendan only cared about a select few, and he knew those select few were safe. He wasn't going to cry for Texas, or the other injured, or the dead. If he didn't love them, he didn't care.

Ste, however, did. "What about everyone else? The other fifteen people?"

Cheryl looked at Brendan, silently pleading him to help her out or intervene. Ste had barely survived the building collapse himself, and hearing about the fates of the other people would only make it that much worse. But Brendan just stared back at her curiously, also waiting for her reply. "Six are fine and have been discharged already. Two more are still in hospital, I don't know if they are stable or not."

Ste looked horror stricken when realisation dawned, "And the other seven?"

Brendan finally, _finally, _showed some emotion. But Cheryl knew that it wasn't for the dead. It was because Ste was going to be upset by the information. "I wanted to tell you earlier Stephen…" Brendan said softly, his eyes taking in Ste's expression and then holding Ste's tear-filled gaze. "And you did see that girl whilst we were in the building…"

"They're all dead?" Ste looked to Cheryl for confirmation.

She nodded.

x-H.O-x

An hour later, Ste was still upset and extremely uncomfortable. Amy and the kids had been in to see him, but now they were gone his attentions had wandered elsewhere: to the thoughts of the dead, and the fact that his leg already itched under the pot and the aches and pains were starting to burn and flare again only exacerbated matters. He wanted to leave and go home, but the knowledge that he was going to be stuck in the hospital bed for another few days just infuriated him more. The thought of sharing that bedridden time with his current roommate shot him with mixed, buried feelings. And Brendan just kept watching him, which didn't help in the slightest.

"Stop looking at me." He said irritably.

"You were watching me earlier." Brendan pointed out.

"I was drugged up."

"Not really."

Silence fell for a minute or so. Brendan's gaze felt even heavier than before.

"You're still watching me." Ste snapped.

"Well there's not much to do but watch you Stephen. You are by far the most interesting thing in the room."

Ste looked around at the drab, boring surroundings and wondered how much of a compliment that actually was. He huffed and shuffled uncomfortably, letting out a loud, infuriated sigh when it made him feel even less comfy than before.

"If you are going to whine and huff the whole time I might ask for a room transfer."  
Brendan was joking, and Ste knew he was joking, but for some reason, the very idea of Brendan not being nearby terrified him.

"Don't!"

Brendan looked at him in surprised concern, and immediately took it back. "Ok, Stephen. Ok, I won't."

Ste looked away, embarrassed by his sudden outburst. What was wrong with him? He and Brendan had barely held a conversation longer than ten minutes in months, so why was the thought of being apart from him so scary? Was it just because of Brendan saving him?  
Which also brought up the question of _why _Brendan came to save him…Ste knew he'd ask Brendan that question soon enough, but not now, as the excitement that the thought of Brendan's answer brought him made him angry with himself. He was supposed to be over Brendan.

_Supposed, _his traitorous mind reminded him. _Supposed to be over him, but never quite managed it, did you?_

Unable to look at Brendan's questioning-but-semi-pleased expression at Ste wanting him to stay, Ste focused down on his scratched and scraped hands. He traced some of the cuts with a finger. "Stop watching me." He said again, not even needing to look at Brendan to know that the Irishman was following the movements of his hands.

"Sorry." Brendan didn't sound so sorry that time. He sounded rather annoyed.

"No you're not." Ste retorted.

"No not really."

"Get lost, Brendan."

"You don't want me to."

Ste scowled. "I've changed my mind, you can go."

"We both know you're lying." Brendan said. "And I'm not going anywhere. And you can't either, because you can't walk."

"Oh really? I hadn't noticed." Ste responded sarcastically. "Thanks for pointing that out." He huffed loudly. "If I could get out of this stupid hospital bed, I would."

Ste hadn't meant to say that last sentence as bitterly as he did. And he honestly meant that he just wanted to go home. Brendan, however, must have taken it as Ste wanting to be away from Brendan as soon as possible, as when he replied, his voice was edgy in that low, angry way of his "You know, the last time I was in a 'stupid hospital bed', you had hit me over the head with a bat."

Ste immediately stopped regretting sounding bitter. "Funny that." He snorted. "The last time I had broken ribs was because you hit me."

Brendan's face twisted from anger to guilt in a matter of seconds. The transformation was as fascinating as it was fast. "I'm sorry." Brendan said. What surprised Ste even more was the fact that it was a genuine apology – a rarity from Brendan Brady – and that all the anger that had been there moments before utterly vanished into sincerity.

It made Ste wonder yet again, just how much Brendan had changed over the last six months.

Ste was quiet for a minute or two, whilst he weighed up their argument, Brendan's apology, and what his own response would be. "I'm sorry too." He said, and he meant it. "For the time with the bat. I was angry – you know why – and also, I guess I just wanted you to know how it felt, for once: the man you love breaking something other than your heart."

x-H.O-x

Brendan didn't mention to Ste that he had said 'love'. Not 'loved'. Not 'used to love'. Love.

He reckoned Ste had realised what he'd accidentally said, because he'd been giving Brendan the silent treatment since their mini-argument. But still, Brendan didn't mention it.

He just let the words roll over and over in his head, wondering what that slip of the tongue meant. Did Ste still love him? Really?

Because Brendan had never stopped loving Ste. Brendan had meant what he'd said to Ste a year and a half – and god, was it really that long? – ago. Every day until Brendan was in his grave, he would always think of Stephen…

He dreamt of Ste's grave that night. And his own. And the reason why they got there…

_He was looking for Stephen in the rubble. He'd found two dead people already, and he was praying that when he found Stephen – and he would find Stephen – that Stephen wouldn't be dead as well._

_But Brendan Brady's prayers were never answered. _

_When he found Stephen, the boy's skin was cold. His eyes were open and staring. His lips were parted, but no breath passed between them._

_Brendan placed a hand on the boy's chest, and knew the heart that had once loved him was no longer beating. Not for him, not for anyone._

"_No." He muttered._

_He'd thought it would be so different. That Ste would be alive and that Brendan would get him out. Rescue him. Be the hero for a change, rather than the villain of the piece. Joel had been fine, why wasn't Ste fine?_

_Why wasn't Ste's heart beating?_

_Brendan held out a quaking hand, his fingers hovering inches over Ste's face. "Stephen?" He whispered, voice breaking as tears threatened to fall from his eyes. "Please, Stephen, don't…don't leave me." He traced Ste's face with his fingertips, checking Ste's pulse for the hundredth time with one hand, whilst closing Ste's eyelids with the other. Tears were falling unchecked down his cheeks now. "God, Stephen, you can't leave me." _

_But the problem was, Ste had already left him. He was gone. Brendan hadn't gotten there in time. "I'm sorry." He choked, ghosting fingers over Ste's hair and across Ste's hands. "I'm so sorry."_

_Brendan felt so tired. He was tired of loving and losing. He knew that before the end, Stephen probably didn't love him anymore, but Brendan, Brendan still loved Stephen. He'd never stopped. And suddenly, as he was grasping the dead, cold hands of the only man he'd ever loved, the realisation hit him that couldn't live in a world without Stephen. How could he go every day thinking of Stephen, when all he would be haunted with was the guilt and hate of himself for not loving Stephen properly from the start? _

_He sat down next to Stephen, listening to the building as it creaked and groaned and threatened to fall all around them. He wrapped his arms around Stephen, kissing Ste's cold lips before resting his chin on the boy's head._

_There were people who would grieve for him, of course. Cheryl, Declan, Paddy and Joel. Maybe even Eileen would be able to find it in herself to shed a tear. But who else would miss him?_

_Four months ago, Brendan had no-one. No-one but Walker, and hadn't that been a mistake?_

_He felt bad about his sister and his boys. But there was no way out of the building unless he physically got up and pulled at debris. And he wasn't leaving Stephen here alone. He now understood what Cheryl had meant, about not wanting to leave Lynsey when Lynsey was dead. And he was too emotionally and physically drained to try._

_So he gave up._

_And he held onto Stephen._

_He heard people coming, the rescuers fighting to get into the collapsed building, but the sounds were drowned out by the building protesting. He knew that the rescuers weren't going to reach them before the building collapsed completely. And oddly, he was ok with that._

_The building shook and dust showered down on them. He looked up at the remains of the building above, and hoped that it'd be ok. That he and Ste would be reunited, just not in the way he had hoped._

"_I love you Stephen." He whispered into the dead boy's hair as the building gave way, "I never stopped loving you." _

_A falling piece of metal scaffolding went right through him. He was killed instantly._

Brendan woke up, covered in a cold sweat and gasping in air. It was dark in the hospital ward, a dim glow from lights outside basking the room in some limited light. He was clutching the sheets below him in fistfuls and his eyes were frantic as they darted around the room, whilst he tried to recall exactly where he was, and what was reality, and what was not. His gaze finally settled on the sleeping young man on the opposite side of the room.

The nightmare had been so vivid, that the scenario he had dreamed up had seemed entirely possible and more than scarily real.

But the evidence was right there before his eyes, Stephen was there, and alive. It didn't seem to calm Brendan's fears however. Panic was still racing through his veins.

He knew he wasn't going to get any more sleep that night, the sight of Ste lifeless and cold and just _wrong, _was branded onto his eyelids. So he lay there in the dark, watching Ste sleep from across the room, wishing he could go over there and touch him and just _make sure_. He wished he could go over there and touch Ste the way he used to. Have Ste smile at him like he used to.

He watched over Ste until the hospital ward began to buzz with life again in the early hours of the morning.

* * *

That's all for now!  
Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed. If so please review! Reviews make me smile :)  
mnm37 x


	6. Chapter 6

Sorry it has taken me so long to update this! It got a bit longer than expected.

Thank you so so much to everyone who has read, reviewed, faved and followed this story :)

I hope you enjoy this chapter

* * *

31st December 2012

Brendan managed to stay awake until about six in the morning, but eventually, exhaustion pulled him back to sleep. Back to the nightmares that awaited him.

_It started the same way as the last nightmare. When Brendan found Ste, Ste was dead. And Brendan gave up, just like last time…just like he was always going to, no matter the scenario…and was waiting to die as well._

_But this time, the building didn't fall down like he'd wanted it to._

_The bloody paramedics found them first._

_They tried to prise Stephen from Brendan's arms. _

"_Sir, you have to come with us, it's not safe." They said._

_Brendan shook his head and held onto the boy tighter. "I'm not leaving him."_

_A woman paramedic crouched down in front of him and spoke to him softly, "And you didn't leave him, but you are hurt, and we just want to help you."_

_Trying to separate them was _not _going to help him. "I'm staying with him." He growled out, quite enjoying how his fierceness intimidated people even now. It made them back off a little._

_The paramedics exchanged glances. He didn't blame them. He must have made an odd sight, cut and dusty, clinging to a dead young man and snarling in the dark like some edgy wild animal. But he didn't care. Stephen hadn't been able to stay with Brendan, so Brendan was going to join him instead. These paramedics weren't saving anyone by tearing them apart. _

"_Stay away." He spat, when they tried to come nearer again._

"_Your friend, what's his name?" The woman paramedic tried a different tact._

"_Stephen." Brendan whispered, running a hand through Stephen's hair._

"_And would he have wanted you to get hurt? To stay here whilst this building fell down?"_

_No. He wouldn't. But he wasn't here anymore, to tell Brendan not to, so Brendan was going to do as he damn well pleased.  
_

_Brendan's lack of answer encouraged the woman on.  
_"_And I bet you have people out there who are worried about you, aren't you going to let them know you're ok?"_

_Brendan wasn't ever going to be ok after this. "I'm not leaving him." He said again. "I promised." Ste always said that Brendan broke promises. He didn't want to break this one, but he knew it was only a matter of time._

_The paramedics got a bit more impatient as the building made some unforgiving noises, and they finally managed to get a struggling Brendan away from Ste and towards the exit. "No!" He shrieked, wild eyes finding where they were putting Ste on a stretcher. "No! I'm staying with him." He broke away from them and flung himself back at Ste, running his hands over Ste's face, whilst tears fell down his own. "You can't take him away from me!"_

_More impatient hands ushered him off, practically dragging him away. And even more hands clutched at him as he saw them cover Ste over and he tried to wrench away from them again. "No!" He screamed, and he knew how heartbreakingly desperate it sounded; he could see the paramedics watching him with clear sympathy, but he didn't care. "No! You can't take him! I can't leave him! I won't leave him! Stephen! Stephen!" _

_It wasn't until they were out of the building that they let him go, and Brendan crumpled to his knees on the cold grass in the glare of the blue siren lights, his head in his hands as his whole body shook with grief. "Oh god…Stephen…"_

Brendan's eyes flew open and he took in a gasping breath. His arm and shoulder throbbed in their sling and his various aches and pains burned and prickled on and under his skin. He didn't mind the pain though, because they let him know he was awake, and that the nightmare wasn't real.

In his reality, the hospital ward was light and noisy, and when he turned his head, Stephen was awake and watching him.

"You've not slept well." Ste said. It wasn't a question.

"Not really." Brendan ground out, rubbing at his tired eyes with his good hand. His heart was still beating frantically from the horror of the nightmare, but he didn't let it show. "What time is it?"

"It's about eight in the morning. I couldn't really sleep either, I had…" Ste paused, obviously reconsidering what he was going to say. "My leg hurts." was all he said in the end. He sent Brendan a small smile, "Happy New Year's Eve…well, as happy as it can be, anyway."

"It's New Year's Eve today?" Brendan had totally forgotten.

Ste nodded. "I was supposed to spend today with the kids. Me and Amy were gunna let them stay up a bit later this year so we could celebrate the start of 2013 together, but now…" Ste looked around at the hospital room.

Brendan flashed him a lightning-quick, fake-charming smile. "You get to spend it with me."

"Yeah." Ste didn't actually sound too disappointed when he said that, which warmed Brendan's heart more than he cared to admit. "Yeah I do."

x-H.O-x

Their first visitor of the day appeared around ten in the morning. When the door to their room opened, Ste had expected to see Cheryl, Joel or Amy and the kids. He certainly hadn't expected Patrick.

Patrick was a journalist. One that Ste and Brendan had met before. They had argued with him shortly after Lynsey's murder. And since then Patrick had been lingering around the village to get the dirt for numerous stories: Riley and Mitzeee's relationship, Silas' escape, Will Savage being charged with Lynsey's murder, and Paul Browning being discovered as the murderer, to name a few.

"How did you get in here?" Brendan growled from his bed. He obviously recognised Patrick too.

"Through the door." Patrick replied cheerfully.

"That's not what he…" Ste started, but Patrick interrupted.

"I'll only take a minute of your time gentlemen. Your story is such a heroic one, and it'd be great to get your side of the story across to the people of Chester. Everyone is talking about it."

"Well they should mind their own bloody business." Brendan snapped. "You should too. Now leave."

"But…"

"We've met before." Brendan told him. "Do you remember what happened last time, Patrick?"

Patrick looked at Brendan thoughtfully, until his eyes sparked in recognition, "You broke my Dictaphone."

"That I did. Now get out before I break something else of yours."

Ste used to fear that threatening tone of Brendan's, but Patrick, knowing he was safe as long as Brendan was in the hospital bed, just tutted. "Surely you can tell me _something_ about what happened on the night of the 29th of December?"

"Err, look, we don't really want to talk about it." Ste said, looking sideways at a furious Brendan.

Patrick waved Ste's statement aside and pulled up a chair as though he had any kind of permission to be there. "Now," He said, sitting himself down. "I know the basics, Ste Hay…is it? Yes? Ste Hay was trapped in the building, with Joel Dexter and Theresa McQueen, and you, Brendan Brady, arrived after the building had collapsed and ran inside to save them? Witnesses have told me how you carried Ste Hay out of the building."

Ste blushed and avoided Patrick's curious gaze. "Sounds like you have all the information you need." He said. "You can go now."

The moment Ste was the one to voice aloud that he wanted Patrick to leave, Brendan reacted, and by the time Patrick had finished his latest question: "Is it true you were lovers?" Brendan was out of bed and towering over him.

Brendan still managed to look intimidating when donned in hospital pyjama bottoms, a sling, a light bandage wrapped around his head and more cuts and bruises than believed possible. Patrick leapt out of his seat and Brendan gripped Patrick's wrist in his good hand. "Time to leave, I think." He said with firm finality, yanking Patrick away from the beds.

Cheryl chose that exact moment to come through the door. Ste saw her take in the scene before her, before her face clouded with fury. "You!" She yelled at Patrick. "You have no _right _to be in here! Get out get out _get out_!"

And finally, when her voice reached volumes that wouldn't go unnoticed by hospital staff, Patrick chose to flee.

Cheryl, however, wasn't done. She rounded on Brendan next. "And you! Get back to bed at _once_!"

Ste was rather amused by how quickly Brendan obeyed her.

"Cheryl." Ste smiled at her, hiding a laugh at Cheryl being bossy to Brendan. "It's good to see you."

"Hey Ste, honey." Cheryl smiled at him, and her smile softened to fond frustration as she turned to her big brother. "Morning, Brendan."

x-H.O-x

Cheryl left about an hour later with promises to return that afternoon.

The next visitor to the room was Joel. Ste watched how Joel's eyes lit up the second they landed on Brendan.

"Brendan!" Joel walked casually into the room, though Ste could tell that Joel was holding himself back. It seemed like he was attempting to remain business-like, but was failing miserably: the affection and happiness in his voice at seeing his business partner and father-figure for the first time since the night of the building collapsing, was blatantly obvious. "How are you doing? I'm sorry I didn't come and see you yesterday, after they discharged me they told me I had to go home and rest and they wouldn't let me see you." He garbled, his Scottish accent thicker with emotion as he pulled up a chair and sat as close to Brendan's bed as he could physically get. "Even when I came back to the hospital to take Theresa home, they s_till _wouldn't let me see you. But here I am, and you're ok…which…" Joel lowered his eyes in embarrassment when Brendan rolled his eyes at Joel's tirade, "…which is good." He finished.

"Joel." Brendan said, and Ste could see a similar warmth in Brendan's eyes to the one that Ste could see in Joel's. Ste knew that Brendan and Joel had obviously had their differences, and had been cruel to each other, but something had happened since September that had changed, and they had become a great deal closer. Hell, Brendan running into a collapsed building to save Joel proved just how much he cared for the boy.

And that was when Ste suddenly realised who else Brendan had proved that he cared for. Brendan had risked his life to save his. They hadn't been together in over a year and a half, not properly. He and Ste had barely spoken apart from the odd encounter over the summer and autumn of that year. Sure, each time they had one of their chance meetings, it had given Ste that same old buzz, and the chemistry was always present. But he'd had no idea that the same _still_ went for Brendan as well, even after all that time.

Ste was so dazed that he barely listened to Joel and Brendan's conversation. He was going over the rescue instead, figuring out why Brendan would do this for him. He cursed himself for being so slow and not properly realising it before. Of course Ste had scolded Brendan for risking his life by saving him, but he hadn't fully appreciated _why _Brendan had done such a thing.

He only tuned back into Brendan and Joel's conversation towards the end of Joel's visit, when Joel said "Brendan, I know that at some point you're going to start demanding to know why the building collapsed in the first place, and start blaming the Savages and whoever else involved for what happened, so I started looking into it."

"Good lad." Brendan looked pleased, and Ste assumed that Brendan had meant to do exactly what Joel had guessed. "What can you tell me?"

"Well Theresa spoke to Liberty Savage earlier and apparently the Savages had no idea that the building wasn't stable. The police have questioned the guy who Dirk was renting the building off for the night, and the guy was aware that the building needed a safety assessment - the place had been abandoned for years - but he'd let Dirk use it under the impression that only half the amount of people would be going to the party. No-one had been expecting that amount of people to turn up, and in the end, that was what brought the building down."

"They should have had the brains to check the building was safe themselves." Brendan sounded vengeful, as Ste had expected he would. Brendan was angry that people he cared for had been - or could have been, in Cheryl's case – injured, and he wanted answers, and for the people who had organised the party to pay.

But Brendan, Ste and Joel hadn't been the only ones in danger of losing people they loved. The Savages had their own injuries, and guilt, and, as Ste quickly decided to remind him, "I guess the Savages are paying for not checking now though." He said softly, trying to be reasonable, "What with Dodger in hospital."

Brendan made a noise in his throat of what Ste hoped was agreement. Joel looked over at Ste for the first time. "Hi." He said.

Ste grinned back, ignoring the pulling of the healing cuts on his face, "Hi." He returned.

Only those two words were exchanged before Joel was turning back to Brendan, but even so Ste reckoned that, in terms of being to civil to each other, he and Joel were still making pretty good progress. Why he wanted to be friendlier with Joel, Ste wasn't entirely sure. The only true connection they had was through Brendan.

Maybe that was really the reason behind Ste's attempts to get along with Joel over the past few months. It was beginning to dawn on Ste that a lot of decisions he had made that year had revolved around Brendan. Sure, they hadn't spoken all that much, and Ste had claimed on numerous occasions that year that he hated Brendan – lies, of course. But the prospect of Brendan possibly being at the Savage's New Year party had been the secret reason why Ste had been interested in going there with Amy in the first place. And although Ste didn't want to admit it, his other important decisions over the past months had been pretty Brendan-charged as well, not that Brendan had in any way had a physical part in it to make it so. It was just Ste, who was still so mixed up with the never-forgotten feelings for his ex. It had fuelled one of the real reasons behind Ste breaking up with Doug.

x-H.O-x

It was odd that not half an hour after the first time Ste had thought of his break-up with Doug in ages, Doug was the next person to visit their hospital room.

Obviously, they were only talking as friends and business partners. They had been separated for over four months. A quarter of a year. It had been a slightly unsteady road for Ste and Doug to change back from boyfriends to friends, but they were suited better that way.

Doug was upset about Texas and Dodger, and about Ste's injures, so Ste spent a large amount of time trying to cheer Doug up. He also talked to Doug about taking some time off from the deli to recover when it reopened in the New Year. Brendan spent the whole of Doug's visit glowering at the American from his bed, which Ste did his best to ignore.

It wasn't until Doug had left that Brendan spoke up with a sarcastic "Well, it was nice of him to visit."

"Yes it was." Ste said stubbornly. "He's a good friend."

"Friend?" Brendan asked with bitter doubt.

"Yes." Ste rolled his eyes. "We are just friends and business partners."

"It wasn't that long ago you were declaring your love for him."

"We broke up over four months ago!"

Brendan scowled and picked at the thin bed covers. "You chose him over me."

Ste was stunned. He always was when Brendan made open declarations like that. "You don't understand."

"I think I do."

"No." Ste insisted angrily. "You don't. You want to know why we broke up?"

"I know why. Chez told me. You didn't suit each other and argued all the time."

Ste snorted. "Please, you really think that's the only reason why we broke up? That's what we told everyone, sure. But that wasn't the main reason." He took a breath. "The real reason was that it wasn't fair to Doug, because I wasn't in love with him."

"You did love him." Brendan argued. "You weren't just pretending feelings for him."

"No, you're right. I wasn't pretending, and I did love him. But I wasn't _in _love with him. My head told me that he was the safest option, just like it did with Noah. But where did my head get me eh? Noah cheated on me twice and Doug was willing to marry Leanne just to stay in the closet to his parents. I had enough. Because although my head chose Doug for me to love, my heart knew the truth the whole time. My heart knew who I was in love with. Don't you get it? I broke up with Doug because it wasn't fair to him that I was still in love with you."

Brendan looked genuinely shocked. "You what?"

Ste blushed, anger fading as embarrassment swept in. "It doesn't matter."

"Stephen…"

"I said, it doesn't matter."

"But you just said..."

Ste audibly gasped in relief as Amy and Cheryl came into the room at the same time, effectively cutting their conversation short. "We'll talk about it later." Ste said shortly, just to stop Brendan _staring_ at him like that. And then focused his attentions on Amy, hoping she would stay for a long time, so he could avoid the inevitable conversation of admitting to Brendan Brady that he still loved him, and even though it had often looked otherwise, he had never actually stopped.

* * *

That's all for now, but the last chapter is nearly finished, so it should be posted soon!  
Thank you for reading.  
I hope you enjoyed this chapter! If so please review! It's great motivation and I love and appreciate each and every one :)  
mnm37 x


	7. Chapter 7

So guys...this is the last chapter!

Thank you so much to everyone who has read, reviewed, followed and faved this story! You guys are awesome! And I really really hope you enjoy the last chapter :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Hollyoaks.

* * *

Brendan couldn't believe what he had just heard. Stephen still loved him? Even whilst he had been with Doug, he had still loved him? In some ways it made no sense at all, and in other ways it did. He supposed Stephen had been as confused as he felt now trying to figure it all out. Brendan was urging himself to stop smiling, but it was difficult. Stephen still loved him. It was something Brendan had never expected to ever hear Ste say again. But he'd said it.

Ste still loved him.

The possibility of another chance was burning brighter than ever before.

And yet Brendan had to wait until the end of Cheryl and Amy's visit before he'd even get a chance to question Ste further.

"You look tired." Cheryl said to him, and Brendan turned to look at her, forcing down a grin.

"Do I?"

"Did you not sleep well?"

Brendan knew there was no way he could get away with lying to his sister whilst his emotional walls were well and truly down like this. "No."

"Any particular reason why?" Cheryl asked.

Brendan shook his head.

"Bren, you can tell me, you know."

Brendan sighed and glanced over at Ste to make sure he wasn't listening. The boy was thankfully in deep conversation with Amy, probably trying to forget the announcement he had just made. Not that Brendan was ever going to let him forget it. Ever.

"Nightmares." Brendan admitted quietly. And god, he hadn't discussed nightmares with his sister in over a decade.

"What nightmares?" Cheryl asked, just as quietly, realising Brendan didn't want to be overheard.

"About the building." Brendan said, voice roughening as the images sprang into his mind again. "Different scenarios for what could have happened."

"Like what?" Cheryl asked, but she looked like she didn't entirely want to know.

"The first was that when I found Stephen he was already dead. And…" He shuddered involuntarily, tears threatening his eyes, but refusing to fall because he had to be strong in front of his sibling _god damnit. _"And I…I gave up. I just sat there and waited for the building to come down on me too."

"Oh god." Cheryl gasped, not bothering to stop her own tears as her fingers clutched at his good hand. "Brendan…"

"The other was worse." Brendan continued, trying to ignore the way his voice rattled and cracked at different points. "He was dead, but the paramedics found us and they tried to drag me away. But I wouldn't leave. I couldn't leave him, Chez." He paused and looked down at their joined hands. "Why can't I ever leave him?"

Cheryl shook her head, splashing tears this way and that, raising their hands so she could press a kiss against Brendan's knuckles. "Because you love him, babe."

It was then that Brendan stilled. It was then that Brendan realised that the other side of the hospital room had gone hellish quiet. It was then that Brendan turned his head to see Ste and Amy watching him with wide eyes and even wider mouths. He immediately knew they had overheard what he and Cheryl had been saying. How much, he wasn't sure, but it didn't matter. They'd obviously heard enough.

"Bren…" Ste started nervously.

"Two declarations in the space of ten minutes Stephen. This must be a record for us. I suppose we really will have to talk about this later now. Hmm?" Brendan said shortly, before turning back to his sister and striking up a conversation about something else entirely.

Cheryl and Amy both seemed as puzzled as each other, but explanations were going to have to wait. Brendan and Ste needed to talk this out first, and Brendan wasn't sure why the inevitable conversation - the moment he had wanted for so long - was now something he was dreading as well.

x-H.O-x

Before Brendan could even think about striking up the topic with Ste after Cheryl and Amy had left, they had one final visitor.

Darren Osborne stood awkwardly in the doorway. He had scratches on his face and arms, but looked a lot better than when Brendan had last seen him, propped up against the bar inside the collapsed building. Brendan could see Nancy hovering closely behind him.

"Darren!" Ste said excitedly. "How are you doing?"

"Better, mate. Thanks." Darren smiled, "I got discharged just now."

"Good." Ste said.

"How are you doing?"

"A lot better than before thanks." Ste said, and there was something in his voice that made Brendan hope he not only meant his injuries, but about _them _as well.

"And you? Brendan?" Darren asked. He looked almost timid now, and in any other situation Brendan would have been amused.

"Good." Brendan replied.

"Good that's erm, good." Darren looked uncomfortably at the floor, shuffling his feet. "I, err, I just wanted to come, before I went home, to say…well, thanks…really."

"To who?" Ste asked Darren in surprise.

"Brendan." Darren replied.

Ste looked at Brendan in confusion. Brendan felt rather bemused himself. "Me?" He asked.

"Yeah," Darren said. "When I was in the…" He gulped, "…the building, and I was alone and injured and then you were there. You found me and told me everything was going to be fine. And it really helped me. So, erm…yeah. Thanks mate."

"You don't have to thank me Darren." Brendan said, more than a little stunned.

"No I really do." Darren insisted. "That was all I wanted to say, so I'll leave you guys in peace, but get well soon yeah? And when you're back in town and able to get to the pub, drinks are on me."

When Darren left, Ste turned to look at Brendan in awe. It was one of the idolising looks that Ste used to give Brendan so regularly, in the beginning. Brendan hadn't seen it in such a long time.

"You helped him."

"Barely." Brendan sniffed. "I hope he doesn't go around telling people that. If he goes spreading that about, he'll tarnish my reputation." He joked. "A reputation is all a bad man has."

"You're not a bad man." Ste said, with so much certainty, Brendan immediately felt the need to put him straight. They both knew all too well that Brendan was so very far from perfect.

"But I'm no hero either Stephen." Brendan reminded him. "I found Darren because I was looking for you and Joel. I left Darren where he was for exactly the same reason. A few words of comfort don't make me a hero. Heroes save lots of people, not just the ones they love."

And then they were back to 'love' again. And at the exact same time, both men closed up again. It was crazy, that for years they had loved each other, and wanted the other to love them back in exactly the same way. But now that the time that they had both admitted it had really come, neither could really face it.

Brendan wasn't sure why. Maybe it was the fear that now that a reunion was finally _finally _dawning and a real possibility, the dreams of what it could be might be broken, if it turned out any differently, which knowing Brendan Brady and Ste Hay, it most probably would.

x-H.O-x

That night, Brendan found himself plagued by restless sleep and nightmares again.

_This time when he found Ste in the collapsed building, the kid was still alive, but only just. He was in a really bad way, and in that way, it was far, far worse._

_There was a huge piece of glass sticking out of Ste's stomach and blood spilled from his mouth as he gurgled Brendan's name._

"_Oh god, oh god…I…I'm here Stephen, I'm here. Just, stay with me, ok? The paramedics will be here soon!" God, please let them get here soon._

_Ste nodded, eyes squeezed shut. "I'll try." He gasped._

"_Good, good boy. Try and keep your eyes open for me." Brendan wanted to be strong and fearless, but there was no way that was going to happen. "Oh god…" Brendan's hands fluttered helplessly around the area where the glass disappeared into Ste's beautiful skin, his t-shirt sodden with blood. "I don't…" He didn't know what to do. He didn't know how to make this better. "I can't."_

"_I know you can't do anything." Ste whispered, choking on the last three words. "I'm not gunna survive this." Ste was keeping his eyes away from the mess of his stomach, tears dripping from his eyes in pain and fear and mixing with the blood running down his chin._

"_I didn't mean that."  
_I can't live without you, _was what Brendan had meant._

_More blood trickled from the corner of Ste's mouth as he gasped, "You have to get out of here." But even as he said it, his hand reached out, weakly but desperately grasping for Brendan._

"_I'm not leaving you." Brendan said, taking Ste's hand. He could never leave him. "You're not going to make me leave you."_

"_You're not going to leave? You'll stay? You'll stay here with me?" Ste's voice was hushed and frail now. He was losing his fight for life. _

"_I'm not leaving you." Brendan repeated firmly._

"_Brendan…" Ste murmured through clenched teeth, eyes slipping closed. "Brendan."_

He woke suddenly, thankfully wrenched from his nightmare. His eyes flew across the room to Stephen when he realised what had woken him. Stephen was crying out in his sleep, Brendan's name was being ripped from his lips in agonising, heart-wrenching sobs.

Brendan had been told by Cheryl to stay in bed, but Cheryl wasn't there. The ward was still relatively lit, and televisions were still on, because of the New Year celebrations that were taking place that night, so it was easy to navigate his way to Stephen's bed and touch his face gently. After Brendan's own nightmare, it felt so good to feel Stephen's hot skin against his fingertips.

"Hey, hey, Stephen. It's ok, it's me. Wake up."

"Brendan?" Ste said his name in a shuddering breath of confusion before his eyes flickered open. "Brendan, oh god." Ste grabbed Brendan's good arm and held it to him.

"You were dreaming." Brendan said softly, trying to pry his arm away.

"You…I…it was so real." Ste gasped.

"Can you tell me what it was about?"

Ste's eyes darted to him and lingered there, searching Brendan's face as if trying to tell if he was really there. "You came to save me from the building but you got killed instead and I was trapped and I couldn't do anything to help you and..." Ste's whole body shook as tears spilled from his eyes. "I lost you."

"Hey, hey." Brendan hushed, wiping tears from Ste's face. "I'm here, I'm fine. See?"

Ste nodded, gulping back sobs. "Sorry. Sorry for waking you up. It was just so real."

"I know what it's like. I've been having similar dreams. You overheard me talking to Cheryl about it earlier didn't you?"

Ste nodded. "Sorry."

"Don't apologise." Brendan rolled his eyes fondly, stroking a thumb across the soft underside of Ste's wrist. "It's all fine."

Brendan tried once again to separate his arm from Ste's clutching hands, but failed. Though it wasn't like Brendan was trying that hard to get away anyway.

"Don't leave me." Ste whispered.

Brendan started. Ste's voice was pleading, and so like it had been when Brendan had found him in the building. Begging Brendan not to leave him alone in the dark. "I won't."

Ste shifted sideways in the bed as best he could with his propped up leg, and patted the space on the bed beside him. "Sit with me?"

Brendan nodded silently and rounded the bed, slipping under the covers and wrapping his good arm around Ste's shoulders, pulling him in close and breathing in the scent of his hair. "Ok?"

Ste nodded into Brendan's neck, before resting his head against Brendan's chest, ear over his heart.

They stayed like that for a while. Brendan spent the whole of that time tracking his fingers through the hair on the back of Ste's head and relishing the feeling of Ste pressed so closely against him again after so long. But after a while his gaze flitted to a television outside the window of their room. "It's nearly New Year." He said, his voice carrying loudly in the room. The countdown in London was on the TV. Big Ben was lit up and surrounded by thousands of people. Even though Brendan couldn't hear the chanting of the crowd, he knew the countdown had just begun.

_10._

"2013." Ste said quietly. "A year of fresh starts?"

_9._

Brendan's lips quirked at the hopefulness in Ste's voice. "I hope so."

_8._

"You think it will be better than this year?" Ste asked.

_7._

It had to be. Brendan couldn't live through another year like 2012, with Lynsey dying, losing Ste to Douglas, the threat of Walker and Sampson and Joel getting stabbed. The building falling down. It had to be better.

"I think so."

The prospect of having Stephen with him during the next year made 2013 look a hell of a lot brighter already.

_6._

"If you're with me it will be." Brendan found himself saying. He meant each and every word.

_5._

"I know for a lot of this year you thought that I hated you." Ste said, his voice small. "But in truth I never stopped loving you. We've both changed this year, you more than I ever imagined. I only started to see it recently, how much more comfortable you are with yourself and with the people close to you. Next year I want to carry on loving you. And this time I won't hide it behind false hate."

_4._

"That was deep Stephen."

_3._

"Shut up Brendan."

_2._

Brendan grinned. "Only if you make me."

_1._

Ste propped himself up on his arms to capture Brendan's mouth in a soft kiss. It was short and sweet. And it meant everything.

_0._

"Happy New Year, Brendan." Ste smiled softly when he pulled away.

"Happy New Year." Brendan smiled back.

Ste settled back down against Brendan. There was little room for the both of them on the hospital bed, but they just _fit._

"So being with me is your New Year's resolution?" Brendan summarised, disguising the hope in his voice with amusement.

Ste laughed. "I guess so, yeah."

"I'm ok with that. I'll just have to make sure it gets fulfilled won't I?"

Ste hummed happily. "I also have things to make up to you though. I know you're renovating the club. I stole from you, so if you need any money to help out with the club, I think we're making enough profit to properly start paying you back."

"None of that." Brendan tutted. "I was actually rather proud of you for doing it. It showed me that my games weren't working anymore. I was losing you."

"You didn't lose me."

"I did. For a little while."

"Well, you found me again."

"I know." Brendan pressed his lips to Ste's temple. "I had to. I don't know how I would have survived otherwise. I love you."

Ste let out a little sigh, stroking a finger up and down Brendan's chest. "I missed you saying that to me."

Brendan cleared his throat with a chuckle. "Now we're getting sappy."

Ste laughed in return. "Yeah, guess we are. We must be tired or something."

"Then get some sleep, you."

"I won't sleep if you aren't here." Ste said, panicking. "I'll have that nightmare again. I can't see you hurt. I can't see you die. I can't! Don't go."

"I wasn't planning to move." It was true. Brendan had no intention of getting out of the bed.

"You're not going to leave? You'll stay? You'll stay here with me?" Ste's words were identical to what the dying Stephen had said to Brendan in his nightmare not ten minutes before.

And just like he'd said in his nightmare, Brendan said the first instinctive thing that came to mind. "I'm not leaving you."

He was never leaving Stephen again.

x-H.O-x

The next morning Cheryl arrived at the hospital early to wish her brother and Ste a Happy New Year.

When she reached their room she was met with a gaggle of nurses outside the window of their room.

"Excuse me?" Cheryl said, worry building. "What is it?"

The nurses looked at her and quickly parted to let her through. Cheryl soon saw what it was that had caught their attention. Her brother was in Ste's bed. His good arm was wrapped around Ste's shoulder and Ste's good leg was resting on top of her Brendan's right one. They were asleep, Ste's head on Brendan's shoulder, and Brendan's head resting against Ste's soft hair.

"We haven't had the heart to move them yet." One of the nurses said.

"You know," Cheryl said, a secret smile playing on her lips. "I don't blame you."

x-H.O-x

2nd January 2013

The taxi pulled up in Hollyoaks Square and Brendan climbed out.

The sun felt good on his face after days in hospital. He turned back around to one-handedly help Ste out of the taxi, who was struggling on his crutches.

"You ok Stephen?"

Ste blew his un-gelled hair off his forehead. "Fine."

"Are you sure you don't want dropping off at home, love?" Cheryl asked, climbing out of the taxi with their bags.

"Nah." Ste said, "I've got to pop into the deli and then to the café and Amy is going to help me get my bag back to the flat."

"If you say so babe." Cheryl said, turning to pay the taxi driver.

Brendan looked up when he felt eyes watching them. As it turned out, most of the Square was looking at them.

Patrick's newspaper article had come out the previous day, speaking of Brendan's heroics in saving his ex-lover, and it seemed most people in the village had read it. For one of the first times ever, Brendan truly didn't care that they all knew.

He brushed Ste's hair back with his fingers. "You know you can always stay at mine, if you want?"

They hadn't been separated since the building had collapsed and Brendan didn't know how well they would cope being apart. He didn't particularly want to find out.

"I don't think so." Ste said, and Brendan took a step back in surprise. Ste laughed, "Well not with these bloody things, am I?" He shook his crutches, "Won't be able to get up the stairs."

Brendan silently scolded himself for thinking Ste was turning him down. Ste loved him, and he needed to keep remembering that. Even now it was hard to take in that this was actually happening, and that he had Stephen back in his arms at last. He curled his fingers round the back of Ste's neck. He knew it was a possessive gesture, but old habits die hard, particularly with his need to protect Stephen stronger than ever. But Ste didn't seem to mind.

"Well I could always come and stay at yours?" Brendan suggested.

"I'd love that, but Amy and the kids need me tonight, and Chez needs you. But tomorrow night?"

Brendan nodded, pressing his forehead against Ste's and bumping their noses together before giving him a kiss. "I'll walk you into the deli."

"Brendan." Ste laughed again, pulling away. "It's only like ten steps away!" He stopped and frowned. "This has nothing to do with wanting to rub Doug's face in it?"

"Of course not."

Ste narrowed his eyes, but there was still a smile on his lips all the same. "In some ways you haven't changed a bit."

"You wouldn't love me if I'd changed completely." Brendan retorted.

Ste rolled his eyes with a grin. "I'll see you later Brendan." And he hopped off towards the deli.

"I'll just take his bag into the deli for him." Cheryl said from behind Brendan, "Are you ok to get up to the flat?"

"Sure I am." Brendan said. "No need to worry about me Sis." He picked up his own bag with his good hand.

"I'll see you in a few minutes." Cheryl said before following Ste into the deli.

Only then did Brendan glare at all the spectators in the Square. "What are you lot looking at?!" He barked, enjoying seeing people jump in fright. "The show's over. Move on." As he watched people scurry on their way, he was pleased to see that the newspaper article hadn't changed people's opinions of him. That they had realised that although he had changed for his family and for Ste Hay, the man was no saint and he wasn't going to treat anyone else any differently. And he was pleased to know that some things wouldn't change.

Brendan Brady was going to have an excellent New Year.

* * *

That's all folks! Thank you so much for reading.  
I hope you enjoyed, and if so, please review :) They mean a lot and make me smile :)  
LORDY LET THERE BE A STENDAN REUNION SOON!  
mnm37 x


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